Talk:Graveyard of a Madman Part 29/@comment-4080028-20150828220019

Sorry for the length it took to get bac to reading, but my life's been all sorts of messed up lately; not to mention I'm still trying to recover from it all. But I digress, this should be about Other Side!!

So, been a while since I gave constructive criticism. Hope I'm not too rusty with it. As usual, it was a well done story, my friend. Granted though, a huge issue I had were the typos scattered here and there. Some words would be reused or repeated in a sentence, for example. That and the way some actions or events were described left me confused. Like, I had no idea the Whiteblades were surrounding the Marines. I thought ALL of them were on top of Ola with Wataru and Thoosa, so when I read they made a line for the Marines to travel across, I went "wait, what? But they're on Ola!!" Fortunately enough though, with some backtracking, I got what you were trying to depict in our minds. Still though, I wish there was less confusion in how things were described overall.

The way Thoosa ended her fight with Ola was pretty cool; the way she used those resin bubbles reminded me of Chris' fighting style with Art Style: Pop. Makes me eager to see Thoosa and Chris have some kind of bubble showdown now. lol Though I think the most entertaining portion of the chapter was Rinji's battle with Sieghart. Again, the way it was described managed to throw off the overall epicness of the fight for me, because I had to spend some time going "wait, how is that even possible? What just happened?" And if I'm not sure exactly how something happened, then how can I fully enjoy a fight, ya know? But anyway, from what I could understand, which was roughly 90% of the fight, it seemed to be a great one. I think I actually enjoyed Sieghart's fighting style more than Rinji's (no offense intended,) so I was amused with how Sieg would try and retaliate against Rinji's powers and techniques. Eh, maybe it's just because it looks like Chris' powers in my head, only with emerald and colored green. Stupid stinking bias, am I right?

Anyway, nice chapter through and through. This comment isn't as long as the others usually are because there wasn't much on my mind to share this time around. But this certainly shouldn't be a marker for the chapter's quality. It was still enjoyable and ended with quite a bang of sorts (I mean, a ruined building finally giving in and falling after two badasses leave it and go their separate ways? If that isn't how you finish a fight scene AND a chapter, I don't know what is.)