Talk:Walk in the Rain Part 5/@comment-3507136-20150110162247

Well, what can I say mate? It's like you read my future mind when you were writing these. I asked for a bit of banter or social comedy between crewmates? and a little of it is indeed provided! Bravo sir. You did indeed do well.

I enjoyed this chapter as I was able to get into the fighting scenes, albeit it they were a bit hard for me to follow at times. But I can assure you that this is for only one soul reason in my own opinion.

Lack of character description. That's right, I NEED to see you describe these characters genuine appearance for me to support or hate them! It's fine giving one imagination of how they look. But that would only serve to bend the story to nonsense, For example where you would imagine one character skinny and fast as you briefly introduce him, another would give him the role/appearance of the fat sleazy slob. I really REALLY want to see this from you dude, it would make this so much better in my opinion as it'd be easier to follow.

The main things description wise I look for are as follows:


 * Clothing, What are they wearing? Casual peasant clothing? Or strapping armour?


 * Facial structure, Do they have a wierd long nose? glasses? what's their eye colour? are their lips blown up like a fish? O-o


 * Hair colour,


 * Are they wielding any sort of weapon in plain sight? If so, what is it?


 * Size and stature,


 * Do they look old? Young? just a man? woman? Details man!

Other than that the only other quarrel I had was with the fact you introduced the characters by name with no means of us knowing who they were. I mean, I had no idea who Kimo or Red dog Danny was. They literally came out of nowhere with no introduction but Red dog danny.

If you're going to introduce them by name, at least have someone say their name to them. That way we become aware of which character is who. You know ?

Other than these it was another good chapter buddy. Until next time~