Talk:Wanamo's Memories! That Fateful Stormy Night!/@comment-27169256-20140919224119

AT FOLKS?

The INFMAOUS

CJ Review!

Well Well Well, the tale of Wanamo and his tragic past is revealed at last and we finally discover his hatred for pirates, or more specifically Zet Largon. I must say, I found the flashback to be an enjoyable read that showed us more to Wanamao and how he first started off as any other normal boy and had his fate twisted thanks to pirates. I really feel that

I'm also very pleased to know that you once again took my advice and not only increased the chapter length, but also began describing the scenery more and are now showing how the characters are feeling. It's still lacking and could be improved but there's definite progress so good work

So now you're probably wondering, "Oh, now he something bad to say :(" Unfortunately, you are right.

While the back history was good and explained Wanamo's situation, all the "Time skips" and fast forwarding didn't flow to me.

In the first flash back, we're shown that he lost his father at a very young age which devastated him. Then, we're given a time skip of 12 years later and we're not told anything of how he dealt with his father's loss. Did he spend alot of time crying and have to be snapped back into it by Sander? Or did he use this loss as motivation to get stronger himself? I really wanted to know but that piece of information seems to be missing.

Another thing, Wanamo's and Sander's history involving that old man and how he "trained" them doesn't fit in this kind of chapter. I mean, the chapter is called "Wanamo's Memories" which would lead me to believe that it involves a more depressing mood. What I believe would have been better was to keep everything but remove the section with Sander and Wanamo with the old man and then from where Wanamo lost his father, skip to him and Sander training and THEN the pirates attack.

It would follow the same story line and dark mood that you showed earlier and then you could save the back history involving the old man for later. Again, this is just my opinion and you don't have to take it, but this is just something I believe would work better.

"Wanamo Sighs" YOU SWITCHED TENSES AGAIN

Other than that, this chapter was an overall good read and hopefully next chapter, we can FINALLY dive into the badass action where White and Wanamo are going to tear shit up !