Talk:Graveyard of a Madman Part 30/@comment-4080028-20150828223314

Yeah, what Mark said, only, ya know, without the alliteration afterward. Seriously, when did ships have air vents? o_0

Anyway, now back to my willing suspension of disbelief. Insert my obligatory "you're awesome and your chapter was great!" comment here. In all seriousness, it was another good chapter of Other Side. Looking forward to this whole sneak and sink plan the Nightmare Coalition is brewing up. ... ... Wait, can we call this "Operation Sneak and Sink"? +_+ ...I swear, I'm channeling Chris right now. So much so, it almost hurts. XD

So yeah, I recall you bringing this up with us on the chat a few months back (which goes to show how much catching up I have to do...) And just recalling the fact I mentioned Chris and Lys of all people, I'm definitely excited to see how this turns out.

Though, I do have one major gripe I'd like to express, and it has to do with Hanuman. Honestly, I didn't feel comfortable at all with his characterization in this chapter. While he definitely still has his broken English/Japanese/manga and anime language/whatever, and while he does have the feisty, wild attitude I intended for him, well... I feel he's starting to be treated like a big, dumb animal instead of an actual person. Like "hey! This is the Jollys' brainless beast that cooks meals for them!" Instead of the originally intended "uncivilized, emotional man who thinks like an animal." Personally, I draw a very fine, thin line between these two points I've made. It's easy to have Hanuman just go "smash this! Smash that!" and talk like he's running on instinct alone. But the thing is, he's still very clearly human-like. He has thoughts, feelings, dreams and opinions like everyone else. He doesn't just go "Hanuman smash stuff! Hanuman be big, dumb brute!" If anything, Hanuman is like a socially awkward father of sorts towards his crewmates. Being the oldest guy among the Jollys, as well as the oldest member, Hanuman really is like the super embarrassing dad figure. True, Hanuman is more emotional than he is logical, so of course he's gonna shout and be impulsive and what not. But when all he does is go "destroy, shout, sound obviously unintelligent"... well... It makes me feel very uncomfortable with what's being done to my character. Granted, he's the least fully developed Jolly Pirate, and I need to put LOTS more work into his character, but still. I wish Hanuman could be treated like he's an actual person, and not just a violent animal.

Likewise, I'm on the fence about him referring to Sirius as "Sirius human." On one hand, sure, Hanuman will probably have no qualms calling someone by their race, but on the other hand, he's been hurt by racism before (had his parents kidnapped by slave traders when he was very young,) and on top of that, he's a former racist himself. Seeing him refer to Sirius as "human" in that tone felt painful to me. Like a Ku Klux Klan member going "deal with it, darky!" >_< So yeah... Not exactly sure how to feel about that line.

So that's really my only major complaint with this chapter. Everything else was solid. Though I do kind of wonder why Lys would even bother rolling her eyes when she could just drown out the "stupid" (in her own words) around her. lol