Talk:Padrino Part 19/@comment-4080028-20131031063642

Consider me impressed, Rinji! I never expected you could take such little information about my two characters and turn it into such an engaging read of a chapter. I loved every moment of it, and felt some pride in seeing my antagonists show off a little.

First off, I didn't think Manson wielding a chain would be as cool as you made it seem here. But lo and behold, you surprised me with some enjoyable action scenes. What came to mind when I finally saw Manson speak was, "wow, I'm liking this attitude of his!" Definitely something for me to consider when I begin writing up his personality on his page. And the self-induced trance was every bit as awesome as I was hoping it to be. +_+ Thank you for taking one of my ideas and making it a fun sight to behold.

Hmm, as for any constructive criticism... It's hard for me to think of anything that you could work on regarding Manson. I'm trying to think up ideas you could implement for his persona, in case he makes a reappearance later down the road, but what I've seen so far has left me satisfied for the time being, so nothing's really coming to mind.

Now for Lo; again, I was pleased with her portrayal. You certainly played up the seduction aspect of her character very nicely, if not perfectly. I take full credit if anyone feels she could have done more fighting or any sort of action in this chapter, since I haven't fully thought out how she would fight, and with what, when she has no one to manipulate.

Unlike Manson, I do have some advice about writing Lo. Don't be afraid to make her come off as sly and manipulative; not just in battle, but in general. Given that she has experience as an interrogator, she's highly skilled in picking people's brains and then exploiting whatever she finds out about them. It's why I gave her the Zaigo Zaigo no Mi, Model: Lust to begin with. If she knows what to exploit, then she can seduce those around her much more easily. So in short, she's good at playing mind games with others. It's all about knowing exactly what buttons to press.

Aside from all that, these two were done up amazingly well in my opinion. ^_^ Great job!

One final detail: I'd like to inform you that No Beard's subordinates are to call him 'captain,' like most other traditional pirate crews. That's just how he rolls. I don't think it matters too much if Ron calls him boss or captain, seeing as it's Ron, but if you want to aim for total accuracy, be sure to remember this little reminder when Lo and Manson address or talk about their captain.

Nice chapter, my man. You deserve the praise for your dedication, skill and effort so far. Here's hoping the next chapter we plan out meets this type of standard, or even better, exceeds it.