Talk:Dawn of Dreams- Chapter 1: Leaving Town/@comment-6418172-20160809153733

Well it was a good start. There were a few grammar errors here and there but nothing serious. Storywise, you might've shown off too much of what Toshin can do too soon, but that's just nitpicking on my part. It's a good story, though it feels like Airashi was a little quick to say she'd be fine with becoming a pirate.