Talk:Ink-and-Run Tactics:Hit/@comment-24070327-20140928035928

What'z happening my good vellowz. I am PROUD to say that today is the opening of the...



Take that JOSHUA! We're Star Warsing this bi- *gets cut off*

EITHER WAY....let's get this show on the road. Before we round up breaking some profanity rules by mistake....

Let me just start of by saying that the story itself as VERY original for this wikia. Most of us start with our cocky hero on some island somewhere already on their adventure. But you did NO SUCH THING! The story starts BEFORE the adventure and explains the leap into the adventure very well. Clara is PISSED OFF beyond reasoning. And she is GOING TO LET EVERYONE KNOW IT! Funnily enough, nobody seems surprised by this. The announcer is scared and the students are on alert, but nobody is acting like this is out of character for Clara. Which just goes to show it's less that they didn't expect this from her, and more that they DREADED the day she would eventually do it. Might not be funny to most people, but that very implication was HILARIOUS to me. Lets me know that we got some FUN times ahead of us.

And then we get some fight scenes. Kishishi. As I expected these lowly students stand no chance again-   WHAT THE BOOP? John didn't get curbstomped?

I see. This is obviously the climax.

This is the part where we have a lengthy battle in order to show how our heroine can defeat the stronger opponents just as much as she could the peon- Wait....what the...

OH MY BOOPING GOSH!

KILL ME NOW! I DON'T WANT TO LIVE KNOWING I'LL NEVER SEEN ANYTHING AS BADASS AS THAT PICTURE AND THE FONT FOR THAT NEUTRON CROSS!

KISHISHISHISHISHISHI! WELL PLAYED MJ! Nicely done. You use a lure of a worthy opponent in order to draw us into some BADASS FORMATTING! This day Clara was not the badass. YOU was. For doing something new and different and pulling it off WONDERFULLY.

But I must move on. After John gets his butt handed to him on a silver platter, we get to the heart of the matter. Looks like Vance is about to decide to side with Clara as any hood firend of the main character... ...or not. Instead he is going to cut her. Down.

VANCE! TRAITOR!

Fortunately the turncoat, back-stabbing, cake-lying douchebag misses and opens the way for Clara. The Eponymous Black Dragon is retrieved and Clara immediately takes a trip and brings Vance along by mistake. The TRAITOR quickly learns the error of his ways as we learn the reason behind Clara's angry outburst at the beginning of the story. We're even introduced to Winston, the guy responsible for Clara knowing what she does. And that just about wraps it all up. With Clara and THE TRAITOR deciding to become partners in an ADVENTURE!

Now with summary and reaction out of the way, I shall get to the CRITICISM! Kishishi....

Honestly, I don't have MUCH to complain about. It's the beginning so it's not like I had any expectations that were stamped upon. There were some problems with punctuation that bothered me a bit though. The way periods and commas were used didn't seem to mesh with the flow of the story. Also the italics REALLY doesn't do a good job of differentiating action from dialogue. Maybe if you put the action inside a pair of asterisk it'll make it less confusing. Sadly this is all I have to say. The debut of the Zeon Review Pirates is now over. So long MJ. I look forward to the next chapter and our train of course. This has been....