User blog:Wyvern 0m3g4/Grand Spectacular Voyage of Grandness!

What's this? WYVERN!! WHAT THE F*** IS THIS?! ARE YOU PLAGIARIZING ZEON'S WORK?! ARE YOU MOCKING HIM?!

...

I AM NOT!! SIT YOUR ASS DOWN AND LET ME EXPLAIN!

...

Thank you. ^_^

OK! So, as some of us may (or may not) know, Zeon has managed to do something very few of us could ever dare to accomplish. Not since Rinji has ANYONE written an entire saga of their story on this wiki. And for that, he must be applauded with the greatest honor I could think of for him.

A ROAST! :D

I mean... Abridged series. <_<;

YES!! I am now going to write my attempt at a Grand Voyage Abridged episode! From the man who made up Written Music Videos himself! The trail blazer and blazer of trails! Wyvern D. 0m3g4! :D

So! Get your popcorn, your One Piece, your ship, and... SOMETHING ELSE! We are beginning the...

'''GRAND SPECTCULAR VOYAGE OF GRANDNESS! '''

Narration: Wealth, fame, power. Gold Roger, the King of the Pirates, attained this and everything else the world had to offer; and his dying words drove countless souls to the seas.

Roger: You want my treasure? You can have it! I left everything I gathered together in One Piece- ...Er, I mean one place. Now you just have to find it.

Narration: These words lured men to the Grand Line in pursuit of dreams far greater than they've ever dared to imagine. This is the time known as the Great Pirate-

[the narrator then gets interrupted by a rude, abrupt yawn]

???: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH~ That felt GOOD!

Narrator (upset tone): Fine then. I'm not finishing. Just do your stupid story already. See if I care.

[the scene then shifts over to a sandy shore on an undisclosed island somewhere]

Somewhere Island 

Location: ...Somewhere 

[a young man can be seen standing up, surveying the land around him]

???: Well that was a trip. And DEFINITELY not in the drugged out hippy kind of trip. Sailing is the only drug I take. Though I suppose falling asleep in the middle of a hurricane really wasn't a good idea after all. ... Oh well!

[his stomach growls]

???: Well, looks like my appetite hasn't been killed either. Guess I'll go foraging around for food and bring it back to my-

[the ship is altered to look as if it was torn apart in the storm]

???: THE F*** HAPPENED TO MY SHIP?!!

'''CUE THE OBLIGATORY ANIME OPENING SONG!! '''

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G9DEOVn5364

...Give it a minute.

???: Well, suppose if this is my first episode, then my awesome adventure finally gets started.

DO NOT BREAK THE FOURTH WALL 

???: Awww...! But if this is about me getting food, then I wanna meet Toriko!!

NO 

???: What about Goku?

NO 

???: Ichigo?

NO 

???: I can still meet Luffy, right?

OH HELL NO! 

???: You win this one, universe.

[stomach growls again]

???: Oh right, plot.

[he runs off]

???: WAIT FOR ME, FOOD! WAIT SO I CAN TEAR YOU TO SHREDS WITH MY JAWS AND DROWN YOU IN ACID!

'''Somewhere Else... '''

Sieghart: [inhales, as he's ready to speak]

No wait, we're not there yet 

Sieghart: ... -_-

'''At Some Café Place... Somewhere '''

Old Man: What'dya mean ya don't serve beer here?! What kinda speakeasy is dis place?!

Waitress: That's what I'm trying to tell you, sir. This isn't a speakeasy. We're a café. I could get you coffee or some water-

Old Man: BAH!! Some respect! I served in 3 wars!! I was a former Admiral!! I took on the Pirate King!!

Waitress (sarcastic tone): Uh-huh, sure you did...

Old Man: Lessee, dere was, uhh... The Rebels vs. the empire-

Waitress: Star Wars.

Old Man 4th Great Ninja War-

Waitress: Naruto.

Old Man: And the Marineford War!

Waitress (holds her mouth to her hand): Pfff! [giggles] Right sir, you fought a war in Marineford. Like someone would be stupid enough to do something like that. Marineford War.

Old Man: BAAAAAH!

[just then, the main protagonist rushes in]

???: I'MSPEAKINGQUICKLYSOGETOUTTATHEWAYKTHNXBAI

[he knocks the old man out of the way, causing a smashed window sound effect to occur, and an explosion to occur in the background; presumably where the old man landed]

'''Old People Abuse! :D '''

??? (panting): Huff... huff... huff... huff...

Waitress: Um, hello-

??? (demonic voice): FEED THE HUNGER IN ME OR I'LL CONSUME YOUR SOUL INSTEAD!

Waitress (intimidated): O... OK...

[scene cuts to the young man and waitress after the young man has consumed an absurdly large amount of food]

???: Ooh oh, dish ish bemmah den I ought eted eey!

(Subtitles): (Thanks for the food.)

[a piece of steak hits the waitress' cheek as the young man eats]

Waitress (unamused): Uh-huh... Hey, could you please show some proper manners and swallow your food before talking? Plus, you're chewing with your mouth open.

???: Ammersh? Ish dat ood? I AHNT SHUM!

(Subtitles): (I don't know s*** 'bout no manners.)

Waitress: Sir, you're disgusting the patrons. Please stop.

???: [simply eats anyway]

(Subtitles): (Bitch, don't tell me what to do!)

Waitress: OK, LOOK!

???: [swallows] ...What? I didn't say anything.

Waitress (annoyed): Subtitles.

??? (confused): Wha...?

Waitress: I'll pay you money, LITERAL MONEY, if you just get out of here and go bother someone else.

???: Do I keep the food?

Waitress: Keep the food.

??? Keeping the food! But wait...

Waitress: Oh God, what now?

??? Who do you want me to bother?

Waitress: ... ... ... You know what? Go bother someone named Arthur. He's asking for it these days.

??? OK. You have been an absolute delight, very helpful food woman.

Waitress: GET OUT!!

<p style=text-align: center;">Still the Same F****** Island 

[a blonde young man can be seen slicing away at some training dummies with his knives]

Blonde Young Man: HYAH! HAH! SLASH! SLICE! CUT! DISMEMBER! MAIM! DECAPITATE!

[some flying slashes tear the dummies apart]

Blonde Young Man: That was terrible. My Alibaba impression was way off. How am I supposed to meet a Magi and go on awesome desert adventures at this rate?!

[he begins to rub a towel over his head and face as he heads out]

Blonde Young Man: Ah well. Best not rush these things. Slow and steady wins the race, good things come to those who wait, the early bird catches the worm, and big things come in small packages.

[he then sits down in an armchair and glances toward the door]

Blonde Young Man: ...

Tiberius (Butler): ...What?

Blonde Young Man: Now.

Tiberius: Now?

Blonde Young Man: Do it now.

Tiberius: Oh, because I thought you were gonna say something first.

Blonde Young Man: I did.

Tiberius: Yes, but-

Blonde Young Man: Tiberius, do you like your job?

Tiberius: Not really, Master D'Artagnan. I'm working off my debt to you, remember?

D'Artagnan: And you know how you could work off your debt faster?

Tiberius: Get the doo-?

D'Artagnan: Yes! Get the damn door already!

Tiberius: Alright, alright. Sheesh...

D'Artagnan (thinking): ''And they laughed when I said I was going to start an economic revolution with credit. ...Though I suppose I should have rethought getting a lazy, clueless guy for a manservant. Note to self: Go with harem.''

Tiberius: Master D'Artagnan?

D'Artagnan: [sighs] You turn the handle and pull the door towards you.

Tiberius: Actually~

... [scenic look at the rest of the mansion]

D'Artagnan: You let him in 5 hours ago...

Tiberius: Yes.

D'Artagnan: You're on latrine duty.

Tiberius: Awww.

[the young man from earlier can be seen hanging upside down from a chandelier, over the dining hall table]

??? (eyes look at the screen/audience): ...Nope. Don't know why I thought this was a good idea either. Check the story for yourself.

D'Artagnan: ANIME ATTACK NAME SHOUT!

[a flying slash flies for the young man]

???: OH NO!! SERIAL KILLER WITH A KNIFE! IT'S HALLOWEEN ALL OVER AGAIN!

[the young man falls from the chandelier as the glass gets nicked]

???: You aren't gonna kill me Jason Voorhees! I watched your movie!

D'Artagnan: Wait... huh?

???: Oh, right. Not Jason. You're Freddie Krueger!

D'Artagnan: Actually, it's

???: Michael! Michael, uh...! ... Michael!!

D'Artagnan: You don't remember his last name?

??? Zeon1!

D'Artagnan: Oh God no.

???: Then who are you?!

D'Artagnan: [sighs] My name's D'Artagnan. Art for short. But please, don't call me Artie. I killed a man for that once.

??? (gasps): Art...?

Art: Yeah~?

???: YOU'RE ARTHUR!

Art: Actually, I don't like that-

???: I was sent here to bother you!

Art: Doing a good job so far.

???: Thanks!

Art: Not a compliment, genius.

??? ...I like you. You're a nice guy.

Art: Thanks...?

Tiberius: Master D'Artagnan, I'm not one for interrupting, but we're nearing the end of the episode.

Art: Wait, really? Well, suppose we'll wrap this up then.

??? But we never got to introduce MY name!!

Art: Oh right. Lemme check when that occurs...

[Art flips through a script book]

Art: Hmm... Next episode, it seems.

???: What?! WHY?!

Art: Don't blame me. Blame Zeon.

???: CURSE YOU, ZEON!

Art: So...

??? So...

??? and Art: ...

Art: You a Magi by any chance?

??? If that means awesome... yes.

Art: OK, let's end this on a good note. Goodnight ladies and gentlemen! ^_^

<p style="text-align: center;">ENDING TEXT 

Narrator: By the way, spoiler alert, his name's Dhahaka D. Knave.

Art: WHAT THE F***, MAN?! WAY TO RUIN IT FOR EVERYONE!

Knave: Honestly though, how many people are really gonna read the series this is based on? I doubt it'll even last a whole saga.

Art: Yeah, but still...

Narrator: Next time, don't cut off the damn narrator!

Knave: END OF EPISODE!

Art: Screaming... Everyone's screaming... I'm going to get some Advil.

Knave: And that's a cut. ^_^