One Dream: Bonus Voyage 1

Welcome one and all! This is Wyvern 0m3g4 speaking! We interrupt your standard One Dream storytelling for something completely different! Know what the Straw Hat Theater is? ...Well, even if you do, allow me to explain anyway! This is in no way canon in One Dream at all, and is merely omake (bonus content) for my series! What's omake? ... '''I CAN'T BE HERE ALL DAY AND EXPLAIN THINGS TO YOU!!! I'M NARRATING HERE!!!''' ... Ahem...! Right, so... Let's imagine this as a what-if scenario, where the characters you've come to know, love, or hate, are placed in otherwise unlikely situations, but still within character! (To some extent, mind you.) All intended for the sake of fun, humor, pathos, more humor, and complete nonsense. ...Why's pathos there? WHAT THE HECK IS PATHOS?!!!

AHEM...! OK, enough from me. Let's begin the very first One Dream: Bonus Voyage!!! DON!

Bonus Voyage 1: Space Defender Dreams!
''In a galaxy not too big and not too small, but just right... er, and a little crooked, but nothing a well placed star can't fix, lies countless planets teeming with extraterrestrial life. To support such life, with cultures running the gamut from advanced to simplistic, order must be in place. However, not everyone supports this way of thinking, and there are those who openly rebel against the Galactic Good Guys Federation, or That Organization for short. These outlaws choose to disobey rules and regulations, and openly prey on the weak and innocent for their own gains. Therefore, to enforce said regulations, That Organization created a military to protect the Galaxy of Fools; the Space Defenders!!'' DON! ''The most well trained, organized, elite fighting force That Organization has to offer. With numerous branches spanning countless solar systems. However, the one we're going to focus on isn't like the others...''

 Aho Planet; that one place that just reeks of stupid.

''No, sadly enough, these Space Defenders are among the most ill-tempered, unorganized and reckless of the bunch. Left out in the boonies to keep them from harming the civilians they're sworn to protect, they rarely get to see any serious action. Leading to many a boring day of staring at monitors, hoping for some kind of crisis, or even just picking fights for the hell of it. Leading SD Branch #-9001 is none other than...''

Chris: STATUS REPORT!

Space Defenders: ...

Chris: STATUS REPORT!

Space Defenders: ...

Chris: STATUS-!

Space Defenders: SHUT THE HELL UP, IDIOT!!

Spike: Seriously, you keep doing this every day. You get up, psyche yourself up and then ask us if there's a mission. We tell you no, and then you go and sulk in your room for a few hours.

Wyatt: Yeah, and then you watch the TS (TS = Television Snail) and snack for the rest of the day.

Chris: NO I DON'T!!

Glory: Yeah. You also then throw rocks at our base while cursing out headquarters.

Chris: WELL THEY DESERVE IT!!

Aphro (Male Form): Look, we're all dying to see some action ourselves too, dearie, but you mustn't let it get you this wound up.

Chris (sulking on the ground): But this place is sooo borrrrrring...!!

Drazil: Have you tried going out for a walk?

Chris: Yep.

Sakura: How about your hobbies?

Chris Bored of them now.

Timber: Maybe you could create some crime for us to solve on your own?

The other Space Defenders then stared blankly at Timber; except Chris, obviously, who seemed more interested than disparaged.

Timber: Really? Like I'm the only one who considered that at some point?

Drazil: He has a point...

That's when Drazil held up his blaster and aimed it at Spike.

Drazil (smirking): Lys-baby, wanna see who can score more points?

Lys (smoking while leaning on a wall): Fine. How many points are you worth?

Drazil (winking seductively as he listens to what he wants to hear): I'm all yours, Lys-baby, I'm all yours.

Chris: GUYS!! Focus on the real problem here! We have nothing to do again!!

Hanuman (makes a guttering vocal noise): Grrrraaaaaawwwwwwnnng!

Wyatt: What's with Hanuman? Sounds like his voice is raspy.

Spike (while glaring at Drazil, due to being aimed at earlier): Oh, he has allergies.

Hope: Is he gonna be OK?!

Spike (giving Hope a thumb's up): Yeah, he'll be fine. We dared each other to see who could eat the most space mushrooms. I was told they were supposed to be poisonous, but the idiot got non-poisonous space mushrooms instead. But it turns out he's allergic to space food anyway, so he ended up with a negative side effect instead of me.

Timber: Seems legit...

Hanuman (scribbles down on a portable chalkboard and holds it up to the others): !*(^&%^$%^##%$$!%$@#@^@^@(@$% %* &^&(%$%&* $*$%$%$^%^*$%^$%^#$%*^$#^

Space Defenders except Sakura: HOW DO YOU EXPECT TO WRITE IF YOU CAN'T READ?!!

Glory: Forget Hanuman for now.

Hanuman shot Glory an intense, angry glare in response to this. Glory however, continued on with her statement.

Glory: As for you, Chris, seriously now; what are the chances That Organization will actually give us a chance for once? Remember that star we blew up?

Lys: The solar system was a necessary sacrifice for justice.

Glory: And then that time we knocked a space colony into a black hole?

Drazil: I'm sure they're fine.

Glory: Uh-huh... And what about the asteroids that fell onto that poor innocent planet?

Wyatt: What about them?

Glory: BOTH THE PLANET AND THE ASTEROIDS WERE INHABITED!! AND THAT WAS JUST PILOTING OUR SHIP TO THE MARKET FOR FOOD!!

Aphro: OK, so we're a little clumsy.

Sakura: I'm starting to see why we're the butt of many a joke in the galaxy now.

Glory (sighing): Exactly... As I said, what are the chances today will be unlike any other?

And as if by some unorthodox fate, that's when the red alarm thing went off! You know! That red bulb thing that flashes on and off again! But really quickly, so it grabs your attention!

Chris (smirking): Never tell me the odds.

Wyatt: That was awfully well timed...

Chris: Timber!! Man the computer! Get the mission specs!

Timber: Aye-aye, sir!!

Spike: "Aye-aye"? What are we, pirates?

Timber typed away on the dashboard as the large screen brought up the image os a man in Space defender uniform.

Ika: Space Defender Branch #-9001, this is Space Defender Branch #70,000,000,050. That Organization has sent us urgent news.

Chris: What is it?!

Ika: It appears a highly dangerous criminal known as Black Pegasus is heading towards your sector. Originally, That Organization had sent Space Defender Branch #Pink, lead by the Valkyrie, to handle the situation.

Aphro (eyes become hearts): Ohhh, I love Branch #Pink!!

Wyatt: Traitor!! Don't support those jerks! They're our rivals!

Chris: Yeah, stupid uppity "oh, look how awesome, effective and NOT reckless we are" jerks.

Ika: Focus, #-9001. In the pursuit, Valkyrie's ship was damaged, leaving her unable to apprehend the criminal. And in accordance to That Organization customs, a Space Defender branch cannot interfere in another's sector. So as much as it scares all of us, we're relying on all of you to get the job done. Don't let us down.

Chris (saluting Ika while grinning): You can count on us, #70,000,000,050!

Anne (in the background of the transmission): We're screwed.

Ika: Ahem...! Right, um, we'll be sending over the exact details regarding Black Pegasus shortly. Transmission over.

With the broadcast cut, the members of Aho Planet's Space Defenders rallied themselves up for a rare occasion; a chance to bag a bad guy! They spent hours studying the information about Black Pegasus, equipping themselves with weapons, and arguing over who called shotgun in the spaceship, the Jolly Century Penguin. However, thanks to the wonders of storytelling and sci-fi technology, what looked like a tediously long voyage took only a few minutes.

 '''Onsen (Hot Springs) Planet; a planet well known for its overabundant geothermal activity, and its beauty! In more ways than one...'''

Pan: Nee-heeheeheeheehee! Just what we need after dodging those pesky Space Defender bastards!

Mimikko: That was a lucky break we had, what with a freak solar storm messing up their ship!

Honeydew: Indeed. You could zay we've finally turned the corner.

Pan: And now that we've stolen the map leading to the ultimate weapon, the Ten Piece, nothing will stop us from finding it, reawakening it, and ruling the entire universe!!

Mimikko: Is he contradicting himself again?

Honeydew: No clue.

Pan: I always contradict myself!!

Mimikko and Honeydew: There we go!

Pan: Hmph, well whatever. For now, let's work hard and remain active.

Mimikko (imitating Honeydew): You mean rezt and relax, right bozz?

Honeydew: WHO ZAID YOU COULD COPY ME, MIMIKKO?!!

Pan (annoyed): Yeah, that's what I didn't say.

Honeydew (exasperated): Let'z juzt find a nice hot zpring to rezt in, OK?

 Elsewhere on the planet...

Hanuman: Graaaaawnng.

Drazil: Yeah, I agree, big fella. Quite the place to track down an interstellar criminal.

Timber: You can translate that?!

Drazil Don't underestimate my talents, kid. Though I gotta say, it's not like I'm complaining about winding up on Onsen Planet.

Both Drazil and Aphro began to smirk deviously; something which quite frankly unnerved Glory out of habit alone.

Aphro (Female Form): It'll be nice to enjoy the beautiful scenery once we're done.

Drazil: Yeah, and we'll get to see all kinds of action while we're here too.

Aphro (mumbling under "his" breath): That's what I meant...

Glory: Remind me to never come here with either of you.

Drazil: Whatever, I'd be much happier with my Lys-baby.

Aphro You'll come around soon enough, Ms. Glory.

Glory (sarcastic): Yeah, right...

Timber: Hold up, guys!

Timber raised his palm up at his friends as he gazed adamantly at the watch-like device on his wrist.

Timber: The tracker's picking up something.

Sakura: Is it Black Pegasus?

Timber: Could be-

Chris: WOOHOO!! LET'S CATCH A BAD GUY!

And with that, Chris ran off at full steam in the direction of one of the many bath houses dotting the planet.

SD Branch #-9001 (except Sakura and Hanuman): HEY, WAIT FOR US!!

 At the Trekker's Onsen Inn

Pan (sitting on a rock with a towel wrapped around his waist): Crap, can't believe we forgot.

Honeydew (sitting next to Pan with a towel wrapped around her as well): I'll zay.

Mimikko (sitting comfortably in the water): Yeah, shame your powers can't let you in here without weakening you.

Pan (in unison with Honeydew): YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO GET IN WITHOUT US, YA KNOW!!

Honeydew (in unison with Pan): YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO GET IN WITHOUT UZ, YA KNOW!!

Mimikko: Er, well, we already paid for the services, so...

And cutting the uncomfortable awkwardness in the air came a loud blast from behind the criminals; someone or something had caused the bath house to fly into broken splinters and a cloud of dust. This drew the attention of Pan and his cohorts right away.

Pan: WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!!

From within the dissipating cloud dust stood 11 figures, huddled together, with one of them holding an oversized weapon of some sort.

Timber: The Timber Robo-Leg Walker is a success!!

Indeed, it was the overly destructive Space Defender Branch #-9001. Among them was the branch's technician expert and engineer, Timber, sitting upon a pair of metallic poles meant to look like legs and feet.

Hope (looking disappointed): We overdid it again...

Aphro: Was it really necessary to knock down a bath house? Won't we get fined for that?

Lys: It was in the way; besides, headquarters will pay for it, so no skin off our backs.

Wyatt: That's an even scarier thought, actually, seeing as we're in enough trouble as it is.

Chris: Black Pegasus!! You're under arrest for stealing a map leading to the Ten Piece from That Organization Galactic Library! Surrender now and we might go easy on you!

Pan and his two underlings rose to their feet.

Mimikko: Aw damn, it's That Organization's Space Defenders again!!

Pan So, you went looking for Black Pegasus, ay? Well fortunately for you, he's right here!

Honeydew: You mean he'z not here, bozz!!

Glory: Great, we wound up hunting three weirdos. And Branch #Pink was having trouble with them?

Pan: HEY!! Don't go looking down on us, girl!! We may be criminals, but we still have feelings!

Spike (slamming his fists together): I say we rough 'em up anyway. Going easy's not my thing.

Hope: But, there's only three of them. Wouldn't that be going too far? And that's why we're stuck on Aho Planet to begin with, right?

Sakura: That does sound logical.

Drazil: Eh, they look like weaklings to me, so you guys can handle them if you want. I came here for hot girl-er, hot SPRINGS. ...Yeah, hot springs.

Chris: Well I guess we'll just settle this the old fashioned way...

The enforcers then all locked stares with one another as their eyes narrowed.

Branch #-9001: JANKEN (Rock-Paper-Scissors)!

That's when the Space Defenders dropped everything they were doing and proceeded to play round after round of rock-paper-scissors to determine who'd fight the criminals. It was decided the last three remaining would face them. Pan, Mimikko and Honeydew were left standing speechless.

Pan, Mimikko and Honeydew: ... ... ...

After a boring, drawn out game of rock-paper-scissors, it was finally decided...

Chris: Right!! So there we have it! It's up to me, Sakura and Timber!

Spike: Lucky little...

Sakura: So who gets who?

Chris and Timber: ... ...

They exchanged looks once again.

Chris, Timber and Sakura: Jan-ken... Go!

Pan, Mimikko and Honeydew: NOT AGAIN!!!

Minutes later...

Chris: OK, I get Black Pegasus, Sakura gets Blue Alien and Timber gets Honeydew! We all good now?!

Both Sakura and Timber nodded in approval.

Honeydew: WAIT, HOW COME I DON'T GET A COOL NICKNAME?!

Aphro and Drazil (giving Honeydew a wink and the thumb's up): You can be Yellow Sexy!!

Honeydew: DON'T CALL ME THAT!!!

In the midst of the chaos, that's when Chris, Sakura and Timber made their move; charging headlong for the intergalactic fugitives.

Chris: Raaaaaaaaaaaah!

Pan: YOU'RE GONNA ARREST US WITH ONLY OUR TOWELS ON?!!!

Mimikko (imitating Pan): Towels or not, you're taking us down easily!!

Honeydew: That'z without a fight.

Pan: Space Pirates, initiate Battle Plan: 1!!

Mimikko and Honeydew: Aye!!

Spike: Seriously, what's with the "ayes"? Isn't this the future or something?

Just as the trio of Space Defenders were upon them, the space pirates quickly made a hasty retreat; leaving nothing but a dust trail behind them.

Branch #-9001 (except Sakura and Hanuman) THAT'S YOUR BATTLE PLAN?!! YOU COWARDS!!

And with that, our heroes pursued the cowardly trio. In standard shounen format, we ended up with three separate battles happening simultaneously. First was Timber vs. "Yellow Sexy," Honeydew...

Honeydew: Dance, stilt boy!!

Pulling out a pair of blasters from under the part of her towel covering her chest, Honeydew began to shoot indiscriminately at Timber's Robo-Leg Walker's feet, causing Timber to hop around awkwardly to avoid the damage to his invention.

Timber: ACK! HEY! WATCH IT WITH THOSE! AND THEY'RE MY TIMBER ROBO-LEG WALKER, NOT STILTS!

Honeydew: Hahahahaha!! Whatever! They just make you an even bigger target! There's no way those useless things could ever-!

In mid-boast however, one of the metal legs came swinging for Honeydew; making direct contact, and punting her into the horizon like a football (for non-American readers: it's an American football.)

Honeydew: HURT MEEEEE~!!

Timber: DON'T EVER DISS MY AWESOME CREATIONS, BEE WOMAN!!

 The battle between Dracule Sakura and "Blue Alien," Mimikko

Mimikko: Ditto-totototototo! Do you have any idea what I am?! There's no way in Hell you'll ever beat me!

Sakura: Is that so...?

Sakura went for her waist, and unclipped a small metal pole of some kind.

Sakura: Do go on; I'm quite curious now.

Mimikko: Heh, if you insist. Not like you'll be around for much longer anyway, so why not? You see, they may call me the Blue Alien, but I'm really a space mimic octopus. I belong to a species known as fishmen, who live on Fishman Planet in the Deep, Deep Galaxy.

Sakura: But, you don't appear blue at the moment. In fact, you're just black and white.

Mimikko: Probably due to the fact that Fishman Planet is all water, making it very blue.

Sakura: I see. Well, that's all I really need to know, I suppose.

That's when the pole she was now holding with both hands spat out a bright, pink light; roughly two to three feet long in length.

Mimikko: Wait, that weapon! Does that mean you're a-?!

Sakura: Indeed. I have trained in the ways of the Space Swordsman, and now I am one step away from becoming the master.

Mimikko: W-W-Well don't you w-wanna t-talk some more?! Like, like, how about-?!

Sakura: The time for talking is over.

Mimikko: I swear, if you strike me down, I shall-!!

That's when Sakura inexplicably managed to appear behind Mimikko, as she put away her glowsword, as Space Swordsmen refer to them as.

Sakura: Ittoryu: Swift Devil.

And then came the multiple delayed slashes, which brutally cut away at Mimikko's front side.

Mimikko: GYAAAAAAAAH!!!

Sakura calmly turned around to ensure she had won. That's when she could hear Mimikko weakly call out to her.

Mimikko (weakly): You... didn't let me finish... If you strike me down... I'll die...

Sakura simply stood there, dumfounded that someone would waste their strength stating the obvious.

Sakura: ...

 The battle between Jolly D. Chris and "Black Pegasus," Pan

Chris: I've got you backed into a corner now, Black Pegasus!! It's the end of the line for you!

Pan: GAAAAAAH!! Who builds an alleyway here?!! Seriously!!

Chris: Clay Clay...!!

Chris' right arm began to transform into wet clay. It rippled and distorted itself wildly, as pressure continued to build within Chris' arm.

Pan: Ack, no!!!

Chris: Space Geyser!!

Chris then launched his arm forward, causing a column of highly pressurized clay to shoot straight for Pan. Pan instinctively dropped to the ground and covered his head with his hands as the wall behind him became utterly decimated. Pan rose back up, and showed nothing less than complete shock at what he saw.

Pan (shocked): HOLY CRAP!!!

Chris: And you're next!! Clay Clay...!

Pan: No!! NO!!

That's when Pan ran away from Chris once again; exiting through the hole previously created by the Clay Clay Space Geyser.

Chris: Aw, c'mon!!! Why do they always run?!!

Chris attempted to follow Pan to the ends of the earth; he was finally given a mission after all those boring weeks with nothing to do. He wasn't going to screw up his first mission in quite a while! However, after a short chase scene, Pan skidded to a stop, causing Chris to do the same.

Chris: So, finally decided to stand your ground, huh?

Pan: I guess you could say that...

Pan turned around and snapped his fingers. The ground shook for a while, causing Chris to almost lose his balance.

Chris: Wh-What's going on?!

Pan: Rise, my Black Pegasus mecha!! Crush this clay brat like an ant!!

Rising from under a hot spring, with water running down it and multiple screaming women running in fear of it, stood a metallic looking man with wings on its back and a horn sticking out of its forehead. It, for some apparent reason, was also sporting a towel around its waist. Perhaps it was bathing in the hot spring? Pan wasted no time in jumping towards its head with great dramatic fashion and landing in the cockpit.

Pan: Nee-heeheeheeheehee! Now you have me right where you want me, clay boy!

Chris (eyes have become stars): IS THAT A MECHA?!!!

Pan Of course it is! And with it, I'll destroy your pitiful Space Defender branch once and for all! Now, say hello to Space-Fighting-Mecha-Black Pegasus-Victory-Warrior! Space-Fighting-Mecha-Black Pegasus-Victory-Warrior, meet the punching bag!

Chris: Punch this, you jerk!! Clay Clay Space Multi-Fist!!

In retaliation to Pan's new fighting mecha, Chris unleashed a barrage of wet clay projectiles in the form of his fists. However, this apparently did nothing to the mecha, aside from get it filthy.

Pan: Nee-heeheeheehee! This is a top of the line mech, kid. Not even the powers of the Devil Fruit can stop it.

Chris: That's because it's never fought me before!! HYAAAAHHH!!

Chris changed his tactics and began to grow in size by becoming clay. He rose into the sky until he had finally met the Space-Fighting-Mecha-Black Pegasus-Victory-Warrior's height. Now with hopefully an even playing field, Chris lunged a punch from his right fist at the machine.

Pan (smirking): Nice bravado, but it'll take more than that to beat me.

Pan flipped a switch, which caused the horn on the mech's head to fly off like a rocket towards Chris' right shoulder. As it made contact, it exploded, which inflicted harm on Chris due to the heat it gave off.

Chris (clutching his shoulder): Aaaaagh!!

Pan: It's like they say; play with fire, and you'll get cold!

Chris: It's "you'll get burned," you idiot!!

Pan: "Idiot"?!! Why you bratty little...! EAT MY PEGASUS VICTORY HORN BLASTER!

As a new horn grew in the place of the previous one, it too was sent hurtling for the clay man.

Chris: Crap!!

However, Chris' Kenbunshoku Haki alerted him of the impact this time, and thus gave him the opportunity he needed to swerve out of the way. What proceeded next was nothing short of a one sided match.

Pan: NOW WHO'S RUNNING, HUH?!!

Chris: SHUT UP!! YOU'RE CHEATING!!

Pan had effectively made Chris high tail and run in the opposite direction of the volley of horn missiles coming his way.

Pan: DON'T YOU KNOW?! ALL'S FAIR IN LOVE AND WAR! NEE-HEEHEEHEEHEE!

The mecha then raised its right hand and balled it into a fist.

Pan: Now enough games!! If you hate my missiles so much, then you're gonna absolutely dread this! My...!!

The fist then burst into flames.

Pan: Burning Victory Hoof Fist!!!

The fist seemed to be descending closer and closer upon Chris, and given its size, it was unlikely he'd be able to leap away in time.

Chris (anguished): DAMN IT!!!

However, the fist was seemingly deflected away from Chris.

Pan and Chris (surprised): HUH...?!!

Appearing in front of the mecha's chest were none other than Spike, Sakura and Lys! The only other three Space Defenders who could be considered Chris' rivals in terms of fighting ability! Their combined might pushed the mecha backward, making it stumble for a while before regaining its balance.

Spike: I know we're not ones to talk, but...!

Sakura: Using such a large machine to defeat one man?

Lys: Seems like overkill to me.

Chris (delighted): Hey!! You're here!!

The other -9001 members began to appear from behind Chris; drawing closer and closer to the battle unfolding.

Hope: Are you OK, cousin?!

Timber: We managed to beat the other two, so we came to see if you were done yet!

Hanuman: Graaaawwnng!

Drazil: What he said!

Chris: Uh... yeah! I was doing just fine!

-9001 Members (except Chris, Sakura, Hanuman and Hope): LIAR!!

Chris (pouting): Well, if you guys are so smart, then how do you think I should beat the mecha? Stupid idiot says no Devil Fruit power can beat it.

Sakura: Perhaps the problem isn't your powers, but how you choose to approach the situation.

Chris: Huh?

Wyatt: You have us, don't you?

Glory (winking, smiling and giving a thumb's up): You know we're unstoppable when we're together. Let us get that tin can back for harassing our branch leader.

Chris (eyes widening): Are... Are you all sure about this...?

The members of the -9001 branch all nodded their heads in agreement, except Lys.

Lys: Well, not like I have anything better to do, so...

Chris' eyes began to swell with tears.

Chris (weeping): Y-You guys...! OK! Let's beat him as a team this time!

Timber (grinning): If we're going in together, then let's not forget a very special member of our team.

-9001 Members (excluding Timber and Hanuman, who nods): Right!

Pan: What are those bastards chattering on about...?

Timber then got into his usual pose and cried out to the heavens.

Timber: VOICE COMMAND, ACTIVATE!! JOLLY CENTURY PENGUIN, IT'S SHOWTIME!!

With that single outburst, the spaceship that flew the Space Defenders to Onsen Planet appeared overhead. It then began to shift and change form, as if it had a mind of its own.

Pan (eyes widened): WHAT THE?!! A TRANSFORMING SPACESHIP?!! THAT'S ABSURD!!

Timber: LET'S GIVE 'EM HELL, GUYS!!

-9001 Members (except Timber and Hanuman): YEAH!!

Pan (thinking): ''Damn it...! Damn it...!! I've come so far! I won't lose here! It's my rightful destiny to rule the universe!!''

As the transformation process came to an end, a new mecha stood before the Space-Fighting-Mecha-Black Pegasus-Victory-Warrior. Pan's jaw dropped spectacularly at what he saw, and some of the Space Defenders below grinned happily. Their ultimate weapon had arrived. It was...

Pan (shocked): A PENGUIN?!!! YOUR FREAKING SHIP TRANSFORMS INTO A PENGUIN MECHA?!!!

Glory: Yeah, I'm still trying to get over it myself.

Timber (enraged): HEY!! DON'T DISS THE JOLLY CENTURY PENGUIN!!

Lys: Enough talk! Let's get done with this once and for all!

-9001 Members (except Hanuman): JOLLY CENTURY PENGUIN: MECHA MODE!

Hanuman (in unison with the others): GRAAAAAAWNNG!

The 11 Space defenders leapt up high into the air, Super Sentai style, and fell into their respective cockpits.

Chris: Head, activated!

Spike: Right flipper, activated!

Timber: Chest, activated!

Glory: Right leg, activated!

Wyatt (disparaged): Left leg, activated...

Sakura: Left flipper, activated!

Aphro (Male Form): Right eye, activated!

Hanuman: Graaaaawnng! (Left eye, activated!)

Hope: Neck, activated!

Lys: Back, activated!

Drazil: Beak, activated!

Wyatt: I forget, why did Drazil get the beak?

Glory: I'll ask. Big bro, why'd you get the beak position?

Drazil: It's the penguin's mouth, right? It fits a great kisser like myself.

Wyatt: Forget I asked...

Chris: Alright, Branch #-9001! Let's show the Black Pegasus why we're so feared!

-9001 Members (except Chris and Hanuman): YEAH!

Hanuman (in unison with the others): GRAWNG! (YEAH!)

Pan: I don't care what bizarre plan you throw together!! IT WON'T BEAT THE KING OF THE COSMOS!! THE TEN PIECE IS MINE!!

-9001 Members (except Hanuman): THAT'S WHAT YOU THINK!!

Hanuman (in unison with the others): GRAAWNG!!

Chris: -9001, begin the Divebomb maneuver!

Spike (smirking): I was hoping you'd say that.

The Jolly Century Penguin, operated from within by its crew, began to flap its wings and ascend into the air; albeit logic normally dictates that penguins can't really fly anyway...

Pan: Whatever it is your planning, I won't let you!! Pegasus Victory Horn Blaster!!

The Space-Fighting-Mecha-Black Pegasus-Victory-Warrior launched its horn missile at the Jolly Century Penguin as it flew up into the air.

Drazil: You think that's going to stop us? How adorable...

Timber: Divert all power to the shields!

Glory: But then how will we continue to fly and do the Divebomb?!

Timber: Fine, half of all power to the shields!

A deflector shield was thrown up at the last minute, which caused the missile to burst upon impact and keep the Jolly Century Penguin intact.

Pan: Hmph, on the defensive so soon? Guess I'll take the fight to you!

Pan activated a mechanism within his mecha. Its wings started to twitch, as if in anticipation.

Pan: Pegasus Mode, engage!

However, instead of using the wings, a rocket was brought out from the mecha's back. Its engine ignited, and allows the mecha to fly up towards the ascending penguin.

Hope: He's coming for us! What do we do?!

Chris: DIVEBOMB HIS SORRY ASS!

Lys: YOU HEARD THE MAN!

Pan: DIE, SPACE DEFENDERS!!!

The Space-Fighting-Mecha-Black Pegasus-Victory-Warrior's horn started spinning like a drill, while its body spun in the opposite direction of the horn (for some ridiculously weird reason.) In retaliation, the Jolly Century Penguin's beak protruded even further outward, and grew much more massive; making it twice the size of the mech's own body.

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Chris: Now, it's time to end this fight for good! I shall believe in this ship, which believes in you all, whom believe in me, which believes in this ship, which believes in you all, whom believe in me, which believes-!

-9001 Members (except Chris and Hanuman): GET ON WITH IT!

Hanuman (in unison with the others): GRAAAWNNG!

Chris: Oh, right, sorry. Anyway... THIS WILL BE THE BEAK THAT PECKS THE HORSE! JOLLY...!

-9001 Members (except Hanuman): AMBITIOUS SUPER MEGA ULTRA GIGA DIVEBOMB BEAK OF JUSTICE x9001!!!

Hanuman (in unison with the others): GRAAAAAAAAAAWNNG!!!

Pan: RAAAAAAAAAH!!! SOARING EMPEROR VICTORY HORN DRILL!!!

The two attacks collided in mid-air, and made each other come to a standstill. The beak of the Jolly Century Penguin forcefully ramming itself into the spinning horn drill of the Space-Fighting-Mecha... The thing with the overly long name! Sparks flew from the impact, and the engines began to overheat from the exertion each mecha was experiencing.

Lys: What the hell?!! He's matching us?! But how?!

Timber: Damn it!! I didn't expect this guy to actually be this tough!

Chris: Then we'll just have to be even tougher than that!! Hrrrrrrnnnnnnnghhh...!!

Chris clenched his body and allowed his Haki to swell throughout his body.

Chris: HNNNNNNNNNNNNNGAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! TAKE ON OUR WILL, JOLLY!!!!

Spike: I see now... Alright Jolly, let's do this together! Hnnnnnnnnnnnnngghhhhh...!!!

The others began to follow Chris and Spike's example, and those who could make use of Haki soon began to summon up as much of their resolve as they possibly could. As a result, the Jolly Century Penguin began to become pitch black in coloration, as Haki surrounded every inch of its being.

Glory: Nnngh...! It's still not enough!

Hanuman: Grawwwwnng!!

Drazil: You heard the bigfoot! Use the Flipper Chop!

Timber: Right, once we do that, I'll use our trump card!

Spike and Sakura: Flipper Chop!!

The Jolly Century Penguin then raised both flippers and proceeded to karate chop the spinning horse-man-bot, causing it to lose momentum and fall underneath the Jolly.

Pan: What?! NO!!

Aphro (Female Form): NOW, TIMBER!!!

Timber: JOLLY GAS, DISPATCH!!!

With a flick of the switch, the Jolly Century Penguin unleashed a powerful blast of rather smelly, unsavory air from its back side, causing it to be propelled even further forward, and slam its enormous, Haki-hardened beak into the back of Pan's machine.

Chris: RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

With one last surge of strength flowing through him, Chris unleashed his Haoshoku Haki. As if in response to this, the Jolly Century Penguin became encapsulated with an odd orange-red aura as it pushed Pan and his fighting mech down onto Onsen Planet.

Pan: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! I'M SUPPOSED TO BE THE KING OF THE UNIVERRRRRRRRRRSSE!!!!!!!!!!

With that last outburst, the Jolly Century Penguin slammed the mech into the planet, creating an impact with the force to equal that of a mighty, massive asteroid; causing untold damage to the once lovely Onsen Planet. Once the battle was done however, this is all the crew had to say about the incident:

Chris (happily): ALRIGHT!! WE WON!!!

Various -9001 Members (equally happy): KANPAI!!!

Hanuman (happily): GRAAAAAAWNNG!!!

However, back at Aho Planet...

 Aho Planet; Branch #-9001's base

Ika (angrily): WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU BLEW ONSEN PLANET UP?!!! THIS IS PRECISELY THE REASON THAT ORGANIZATION NEVER SENDS YOU GUYS OUT ON MISSIONS ANYMORE!!! DO YOU EVEN REALIZE HOW IMPORTANT THAT PLANET WAS TO THAT ORGANIZATION?!!!

Drazil: It was an important tourist spot, which meant lots of space Berries/Beli for That Organization.

Ika: OK, so you do understand. BUT STILL!!!

Spike: We at least got back the map to the Ten Piece and even arrested Black Pegasus and his crew.

Ika: Oh, right, about the Ten Piece and Black Pegasus...

Wyatt: This doesn't sound good.

Ika: Turns out this entire mission was pointless. That map "Black Pegasus" Pan stole wasn't for the Ten Piece like he thought, but for something else entirely. Seems he can't read alien languages as well as he would have liked to believe.

-9001 Members (except Hanuman and Sakura): WHAT?!!!

Ika (nervously): Er, yeah... You see, it was a map created by a space pirate, who wrote it with a special encrypted code meant to appear human in form, to keep treasure hunters away from some legendary space treasure of some sort that he hid. Crafty fellow he is. Anyway, as it turns out, that map accidentally also revealed the location of the super weapon, the Ten Piece. Which brings us to a whole different misunderstanding...

Glory (annoyed, with a twitching brow): Go on...

Ika: Well, some agents from That Organization were hungry, and wanted someone to head out to a famous restaurant called Black Pegasus to order a ten piece set of fries for them to eat for lunch. Seems Pan's theft of the treasure map was all coincidence.

-9001 Members (except Hanuman and Sakura): SO WE DESTROYED ONSEN PLANET FOR NOTHING?!!!

Ika Er, sorta... yeah... Back on that though, expect headquarters to reprimand you severely for this, if not outright immediately expel you from the Space Defenders, or even label you as criminals and throw you into space jail. ... So, transmission over. Have a nice day.

Glory: We...

Spike: are...

Timber: so...

Wyatt screwed...

There was then an awkward silence hanging throughout the air in the base. So awkward was it, that it only served to help make the reckless fools within it feel even more tense.

Chris: Guys, I've come to a decision.

Aphro (Male Form): And what, pray tell, is that, dear?

Chris: We're becoming space pirates now.

-9001 Members (except Hanuman): WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!!!

Hanuman: Hanuman second Chris' notion.

-9001 Members (except Hanuman): YOU CAN FINALLY TALK AGAIN?!!!

Truly, this is the most foolish bunch of misfits to ever disgrace the vast void of space.

THE END