Talk:The story continues: A special person appears/@comment-3986064-20120514145901

The story is ok, the characters are fine, but they aren' developed enough as you qucikly jump to the action without adding enough scenes for your story. Is this a flashback? Is that why the story moves from one point to another so quickly? Because other wise I wouldn't really agree to it.

Your attacks are pretty nicely built, it makes the story more epic, but I've got one piece of advice for you. When your story becomes longer, you can create some cliffhangers and clear them up in the future making your story more epic. And if those cliffhangers are actually explained through attacks, even more!

But still, your idea with attacks was great. But for your writing style, you still need to adapt a little to SOF, we're not only gonna fight. If you want to make your story look like a One Piece fanon, think about Oda's style XD. He concentrates on the story through lots of dialogue and incredible drawings, the best drawings I saw! Along with the attacks, but the attacks which are only a part of the fights, the rest is dialogue and more awesome images! It means that if you want to create a fully One Piece-like chapter, you need to write a freaking lot in the description in a way to make imagining the story easy. The dialogue has to be multiple lines long and there must be some funny moments (at least you have funny moments) and also, use a less action-like writing style and try a more liquid storytelling style, where the story moves so naturally.

(is a complete idealist)

Yeah, I know it's mega hard and seemingly impossible, but you asked me to give you some advice and critics.

Besides, with time your style will improve, you just have to try and improve it and also not give up.

(I'm too lazy to comment on the rest of your stories, since I'd just repeat this)