Talk:The Beginning of the Legend: Sasagawa Kenshin's past/@comment-4080028-20120514180624

Not bad for a first chapter! Looks better than mine so far, so at least there's that. After going back and re-reading some of it, I rather like the transition you did from when Marimo fell unconcious, to the start of his backstory. And at first, I thought something terrible was gonna happen between his "dad" and himself, which worried me a bit, but after seeing them get over it, i'm going to assume that it wasn't as serious as I thought it was (which relieved me.) And I have to say, I love Marimo's spirit! What's cooler than taking the fact that you're adopted in stride? WHY, TAKING ON EVERY DOJO YOU CAN FIND, OF COURSE!

Nice first chapter, Santouryuu! Very nice! (Onto the next one!)