Talk:Walk the Dragon/@comment-14305493-20141002105406

Great story! I like your writing style. I immediately noticed the connection to the Short Story Contest! Hahaha. That he's a journalist writing a story that he must submit within 3 days to win a Devil Fruit! LOL

Also, there are some terms and things that confused me. The currency you used were dollars, but you're in the One Piece world, aren't you? Because you mentioned dodging a Buggy Ball, Celestial Dragon (World Noble), Pacifista, World Government, and not to mention the Devil Fruits and their eaters, so yeah, you definitely are in the OP zone... Why not berries?

And, I'd expect a Pacifista would be a little more indestructible than that. But when I read on and saw James's comments, I thought, "Oh, one of those dumb luck situations, then." For he was also impressed by that and thought Noodle was warrior of some kind. <-I'm not saying this is a bad thing! Don't get me wrong! I like plot-twists, but I'm just saying I felt a little skeptical at first.

Also, I noticed some spelling mistakes that might go unnoticed if you open Microsoft Word. like /he restaurant/ instead of /the restaurant/ and /out date/ instead of /our date/  ...etc. besides the more obvious ones! but meh, nothing a little proofreading won't fix!

What I liked about your story is that the events happened in about the same time it takes a person to read it! This is really cool because you get the feeling that it's pragmatic, or very matter-of-fact. Haha. (there are short stories written in a small time-frame event, and this reminded me of them).

One more thing, I know armor Noodle got shot and stuff, and probably Yoza got shot and stuff, but we never got to know what happened to his jouranalism career which was the main exposition of your story. (I do frankly think it's possible for him to make it out alive -given that One Piece characters are very durable, especially regular humans.) But I understand you wanted to conclude in tragedy. It's a nice way too.


 * after reading FD's comment -.- *

I agree with him about what he said on Cooper and the Seven Flags. Both occasions happened unexpectedly in their own respective events. That's always a plus for me. I don't like the predictable =D

By the way, my comments were written down immediately, so I wouldn't forget what to say. Coincidentally, they sort of match FD's haha.