Talk:The Life of a Loved One 1: Mona vs. the World/@comment-10870881-20151109004341

Phew, alright, review time...

Awesome dialogue throughout, Mona's acting scenes were great especially the one where she was blending with the marines (XD).

The big fight scene was good, although I did spend a lot of time wondering how Eyesore was making lasers. I'm kinda comparing that to the revelation of the Pacifistas, but in this case I kinda felt like Mona just stopped caring about why this guy could make FREAKING LASER BEAMS! That is, the reaction didn't seem to suit the reveal. Maybe I'm just quibbly.

The bit at the end with the prince was nice, I think the conversation did a great job at exploring Mona and the prince's motivations.

And Mona is so proud of her little clay pirate! :D Love the send-off.

I dare say that you've inspired me to persist with my own story! Awesome job!