Talk:For The World: Compaction File 1/@comment-5008281-20150704192938/@comment-5008281-20150705054351

That's the thing about first chapters, bro. EVERYTHING NEEDS EXPANDING!!!! EVERYTHIIIIIINNNNGGGG!!!! But I suppose if you want me to tell you what to expand on first, it would be our main character, Cher. We barely knew that he was in a prison to begin with, why he was there. What you did well was how he felt about being there to sleep, work, eat, repeat. That much was good. But still, your description is decent, but you could use a little more, while not too much. I just think the passiveness of my first comment is just for starters so I don't deter you from continuing. Further along into the story, I will give you bits of advice here and there when we get to important plot points. So, with that, good luck.