Talk:One Piece of Music: Chapter 4/@comment-4080028-20131203215742

Title seemed appropriate; truly the end of one thing and the beginning of another. As I started reading, it dawned on me that if felt kind of awkward to see Aharon and Iroppoi appear so early in the series. Though seeing them actually do something relevant to the arc's plot helps ease my mind a bit. Still though, I'd kind of expect something simpler for the first story arc of a series, which upon afterward, things would steadily pick up after each arc. Not that this makes this a bad first arc, just that it feels out of place for me.

Also, I began to wonder why the hell Aibyouka attacked Thoosa in the first place. Sure, the action was cool and entertaining, and I'm glad you wrote it so well. +_+ But on the other hand, it feels kind of contrived, when I begin to question why it's there at all. I know Aibyouka thought Thoosa was a slave trader, for some odd reason, but it still felt random. I was also surprised to see Thoosa was OK after falling into the water. Very surprsising for me, since I instinctively thought "oh crap! >_<" Guess she hasn't eaten it yet. In any case, I'm glad she won. Was also HIGHLY impressed she managed to cover the place in so much fire. She's certainly one hell of a cyclops, that's for sure.

One last thing before I'm done; I thought the gore in the later half of the chapter was kind of, er... much. <_< Not for the same reasons as what I said about chapter 3, though I guess excessive violence can still be troublesome for younger readers anyway, but because I'm squeamish. lol That, and it just didn't feel like One Piece to me, for me to imagine so much death and gore in one scene. Sure, the series gets pretty violent, given Whitebeard had half of his face melted off, but melted innards splashed on someone's face? I think I draw the line at that. >.<

As for biggest badass I've seen thus far, it's actually a toss up between Thoosa and Zokuwa for me. Thoosa kicked all kinds of ass single-handedly, but in terms of attitude alone, Zokuwa just came off as awesome. +_+

This was a good chapter, Powerhouse. Good luck on your future chapters. :)