User blog:Wyvern 0m3g4/To Renew or Not to Renew?

Yo everyone! Got a frustratingly troubling question for you all this time! It concerns, whether you believe it or not... [drum roll] ...The Jolly Pirates! Yes, my award-winning crew, and one that i'm having doubts about. Now, allow me to explain...

See, after something came up in my personal life, I began to question everything i've done and plan to do. I guess it's like a young adult's version of a mid-life crisis (which is the best analogy I have for it.) And this inevitably ended up affecting my feelings and thoughts about my Jolly Pirates. Now, of course, i'm not hating on them at all. While there are some things I regret, I still consider the Jollys to be a mild success. The problem here is, i've been looking closely at some choices i've made regarding them, and I don't like what i'm looking at. And what's even worse, is that I can't find anyone to blame but myself for this.

So, what is it that's bothering me? Well, things like, how I made way too many characters for the crew, even against the advice from more experienced users on the wiki. After doing more research on character creation and development, I realized that by creating too many characters, i've effectively made it nearly impossible to keep them unique amongst each other. While they're at least unique in basic concept and definition, it's their details that upset me. When I began editing Spike's personality, for example, I realized he felt too similiar to Chris in some aspects. That, and while i've thought of a way to make Timber and Mary different from one another, it still feels uncomfortably similiar to me. (Especially given that Timber is a shipwright, and should at least know how to handle machines to a degree. While Mary's an engineer and has better experience in the field of mechanics. Never-the-less, the two fields can come together at certain points, and I really don't feel comfortable about that at all.)

Also, there are some choices I wish I didn't make. One such thing I wish I could have redone, was Karen's Devil Fruit, the Cute Cute Fruit/Kawaii Kawaii no Mi. Now, I enjoy the fact that I chose something so utterly random and bizarre, since it adds to the fun that personifies the Jollys. But, the thing is, at least with my Rocket Rocket Fruit/Roketto Roketto no Mi, some people were able to find a way as to how it could improve over time (by firing rockets, as opposed to solely using it for flight and speed enhancement.) And after seeing Brook's Revive Revive Fruit/Yomi Yomi no Mi in action recently, I wish I had given Karen an ability that could have more use than just simply being cute (especially since I originally made her to be cute in the first place, and thus humorously not even need the Devil Fruit. -_- ) If I could choose something different, I would've gone with deflector shields, since it could play up her role as the crew's nurse.

Not only that, but there are some little details that just bug me, that could actually improve the crew as a whole. Things such as removing Glory's status as a martial artist, as, while it is wonderfully different and out there, it also feels tacked on and unnecessary. This could then free her up for some new, more fantastic form of self-defense. Likewise, Lawrence feels too neglected for him to even still be around for me. I originally just thought it'd be cool to have a pet griffin for a pirate crew. But it seems he never really grew past that... Likewise, Rune's spear feels boring now, and I wish I could have her use something different, and more in tune with her skills. Etc, etc...

Also, some of the characters' personalities feel dull and uninteresting. Especially Rune, since I can't shake the image of Robin in my head whenever I think of Rune. That, and her personality, or perhaps she and her sister, Karen, just feel rushed to me. In fact, that's the root problem I seem to be looking at.

Thing is, I did rush after Aphro. With people wanting to collab with me right from the get-go (after Chris' page was added to the wiki on day one,) I tried to make as many people as happy as possible, and had that nasty habit of not saying no to invites. While I like to think i've gotten better about it now, it seems to be too late. The damage is already done. I remember I was once told to have at least 7 pirates in the crew (meaning, I had to have at least Sakura at the time) before I could collab with someone. Naturally, I used that as motivation to start collabing, because I was still new and eager at the time. But now... I wish I didn't. Because I slapped some characters together just to please someone else, I didn't get that satisfying depth with them like I have with Chris. At least with Chris, I had something close to a plan. But the others... They feel like caricatures to me. -_- Just traits and behaviors with little tieing them together into a real character.

Of course, I did the same thing up to Bach. By the time I got to Shinku, Mary and Lys, I managed to put some honest thought into them, but by the time I did, things were already pretty bad (in my own personal opinion.) If I could go back in time, I would have gladly said "sorry, I already have a collab in the works," or "i'm already in a collab" before agreeing to another. But what did I know? -_- Likewise, I would've kept the crew smaller, and at least under 10 people. That way, the crew would feel more unique and interesting, instead of being a big random mess (not that that's inherently a bad thing, but that in this case, it feels lousy.)

Meh... Sorry for the constant ranting and whining, but this is just so ANNOYING! -_- That's more or less what's bugging me. (Or, at least half of it.) Here's the other half of the problem. Naturally, my preferred course of action would be to rewrite everything after Chris (or at least Timber. MAYBE Lawrence.) But that comes with a whole new set of problems... Like, the fact that if I change anything about Sakura, that may affect characters involved with her. Or, if I changed Lys, that would affect everything involved with her. And so on and so on. And it isn't just characters, Devil Fruits, islands, crews, and other articles, but the collabs too. One minor change would mean deletion, or a huge overhaul in the hopes to edit the collab and have it make more sense.

Of course, if I didn't have other users' pages to worry about, i'd have made it apparent sooner that i'd rewrite The Jolly Pirates. But sadly, they've become so entwined into the wiki, that I wouldn't be able to make my changes without disrupting everything as a result. So, the question here is... Do I go ahead and foresake everyone else's hard work, or do I suck it up and continue working on something I just don't enjoy? I'd like some help with this matter, if you'd please. (Who knows? Maybe the answer was under my nose the entire time, but I was too upset and down in the dumps to notice it. Also, I apologize for the length and any confusion. I got lost in thought, and in detail, again.)