Talk:The Life of a Loved One 1: Mona vs. the World/@comment-10870881-20151109004341/@comment-4080028-20151221074652

Better late to respond to this than never I suppose...

Firstly, it always makes me absolutely ECSTATIC to find someone's read my stuff from beginning to end without feeling obliged to. ^_^ Simply seeing that you read this was enough to put a smile on my face, Mark. The fact you believe I did an awesome job just made things all the sweeter for me.

I'm very happy to hear you enjoyed the dialogue, an even more so that you liked Mona's acting and the way she fooled the Marines earlier. It's not easy to portray a character who's a better artist than I am, but I try, and the result ended up being Mona trying to fool everyone into thinking she isn't a revolutionary on duty, but rather a cute, clumsy, foolish tourist. I'm relieved to see you enjoyed that. ^_^;

As for blending in with the Marines, that was actually a joke I've been holding onto ever since I began ironing out Mona's personality roughly two years back. It's been a joke scene I've always enjoyed envisioning in my mind and one I've dreamt of adding into a story at some point. I always assumed I'd have to wait until the Lys Arc (her debut in One Dream) before I could make that scene, but when the opportunity slowly revealed itself to me that I could have Mona do that in this story, I jumped on the chance to write it down as best as I could remember it. Not only am I happy to have it written down in context within a story to amuse myself, but I'm even happier to see some people, including you, telling me how funny it was. ^_^ Thank you so much!

And thanks as well for enjoying the climactic fight between Mona and Junketsu! It kind of felt like a drag to me at times, because I'd keep thinking up new situations, techniques and dialogue to throw in while I stretched the story out, but I think it came out as alright as it could be, all things considered. I do apologize for keeping you and everyone else waiting until I revealed Junketsu was a Zeppin with Devil Fruit powers, as usually I try to explain things like these as quickly as I can (unless it's an important plot element for far later in the story; in which case, it'll be a closely kept secret until the time is right.) The problem I had there was that after revealing his abilities, I tried to keep some suspense for the readers by making it seem myterious, unusual and unheard of, even for Devil Fruit users, due to light powers having already been used to hell and back on this wiki. But after I kept up the appropriate amount of suspense, I was already stuck in the natural flow of a fight, which I refused to break or interrupt, so I simply waited patiently until I felt it was natural and appropriate for Junketsu to reveal his tricks.

And as you can see, the results of all this made the scene feel... well, odd and perhaps even underwhelming to some. From what I recall months ago, back when I was writing this portion of the fight, I think I was growing tired from writing such a long single story myself, so that may have affected Mona's response a little. That, or I think it was because I figured Mona wouldn't be too surprised about laser firing enemies, given she works with a group of people who had Nova Blade himself in their ranks; a man who could become meltingly hot light particles whenever he wanted. Like, if you're new to th world of One Piece, then yes, lasers would be a very shocking thing to see. But if you've gotten about 10 or more years worth of experience out at sea as Mona has, you may become a bit too adjusted to the possibility of facing Devil Fruit users, Haki wielders and so forth.

Well, there's that and the fact that I think like me, Mona was starting to (kind of) show signs of fatigure from her prolonged battle against Junketsu and from the long day she's had at Newport, and so by the time Junketsu explained himself, it was more "ugh, great, an annoying ace in the hole that profits off of the death of another" rather than "OH S***, THIS IS WORSE THAN I THOUGHT!" The best way I can summarize all of this is that Mona's something of a cool customer when she gets serious; sometimes to the point where she's more calm and collected than her own son, who's a bit more on the passionate, emotional side, even when fighting. Though of course, as you've seen, Mona can become intense in a fight too, and vice-versa, Chris can be unusually reserved at times as well. Sometime it just depends on the situation and what's at stake I suppose.

Anyway, I've discussed her reaction long enough. Anymore and I'm gonna exhaust myself and get confused as I become lost in my train of thought.

Also happy to see you liked the final major scene. It was more fun than I thought it'd be to take a look into Mona's deeper, serious side, and so that scene become one of my many unexpected rewards for simply writing this story down. Even now, I'm still rather moved by Mona's outlook on life and how she chooses to make a difference in others. Using force and peer pressure is easy; but being kind, patient, understanding and persuasive can be hard as hell.

And yes, I loved that send-off too, which is why I included it. ^_^ The minute I thought it up shortly before writing the story, I knew it was a must have. A nice nod to One Dream's main plotline, an attempt to make these stories feel connected and not isolated in little bubbles, and simply to show that even despite their shared wacky antics whenever their seen together, Mona is still a very good mother, and loves her son more than her own life. The fact he's becoming an opposing force to the same government that's caused her and her loves ones pain in the past is simply wonderful to Mona; and thus why she can't help but be proud of the kind of man Chris is growing into.

Wrapping this all up, I just want to say thank you for this unexpected treat and review. ^_^ Thank you very much, Mark! And I'm super flattered to see it helped motivate you to finish your own story. Best of luck in the contest, man! May the best writer win!