Grand Voyage- Log 61

Log 61: Black Swallow Can't React
“Ya ha, ya hah, the pirate’s life for heeeee~” Knave sung. As one would expect from someone such as him, he was completely and utterly tone deaf, even worse than the okama Clover. Unlike Clover, however, who utilized it to his advantage in combat, Knave was completely oblivious to the fact that his singing would cause migraines in even deaf people, and also enjoyed the sound of his own voice.

As such he found himself carrying most of the load, while his crew and Pura generally hung around the back, either holding their ears, or using stray leaves from the nearby trees to plug them as best as they could.

Eventually, as Knave rose his voice in the hopes of having his friends hear his dulcet tones, they resigned themselves to the fact that one of them would have to take action. They all had a brief, but furious fight in the back, before it was decided that Sid would have to be the one to break the news to their captain.

Taking a deep breath, Sid began increasing his pace, trembling as he removed the leaves from his ear. He only hoped that his captain didn’t take offense when he said that-

Thankfully, Sid never had to say what he had been commanded to.

The bushes and trees around them seemed to explode with activity, mountain bandits leaping out, swords being drawn and aimed at our, for lack of a better term, heroes. Unfortunately, they had picked the wrong targets to attack.

Pura reacted first, her sword flying from its sheath, flying in an arc, releasing a blade of compressed air. “Tsume!” The air collided with the bandits, cutting them up quickly.

“Tekkai Ken!” Sid cried, his fist becoming as hard as iron as he launched a punch into the air right in front of him. This created a small shockwave which knocked the bandits near him backwards.

Art backflipped, his hands landing securely on the ground. “Sadr!” he cried, his feet lashing out, colliding violently with the chests of the ruffians who had targeted him. They let out cries of pain and anguish as they were thrown back as well.

“Chemical Juggling: Circus Barrage!” Stormy called, the pink-and-purple chemical orbs launching rapidly, inflicting severe burns upon the bandits near her.

“Gao!” Gopher laughed, using his small size as he leaped from side to side, allowing the bandits’ blades to miss him at the last second, and thus, cut their companions.

Finally, Knave allowed heat energy to wrap around both his hands. “Naga Naga no....” he said, as he began launching punch after punch at the opponents who faced him, “HEAT BARRAGE!!”

The bandits collectively collapsed to the floor, their eyes being replaced with “X” marks. One, however, remained conscious, and forced himself up, slightly. “BOSS!” he called desperatley, “they’re too strong! HELP!”

“UUURRRAAAHH!!” came the leader’s call as he thundered into the clearing, knocking his KOed subordinates like bowling pins, “YOU’LL PAY FOR HURTING MY UNDERLINGS, YOU FIENDSSSS!!”

There was a pause, as the Marimos and Pura stared up at him.

“...Anyone else getting a feeling of deja vu?” Art asked, utterly nonplussed.

The leader’s fist crashed down where the Majin had been mere seconds before. Thankfully, he had had the foresight to leap out of the way. “STUPID FOOL!” the leader roared, “I AM THE MOST ORIGINAL CHARACTER WHO HAS EVER LIVED!”

“It’s official,” D’Artagnan said as he landed between Gopher and Pura, “the author has run out of any originality when it comes to villains.”

“Hey!” came a voice from the heavens, “he’s supposed to be-”

“We get it!” the Marimos yelled into the sky, causing a small sniffling noise to be heard as the evidently poor-at-his-job heavenly being returned to.... whatever he did between attempting to tell the characters what to do.

“Alright, guys,” Knave said, cracking his knuckles as he walked up to face the bandit leader, “I’ll take this one down!”

“You sure?” Sid asked, “he’s pretty damn big...”

“It’s alright,” Knave reassured him, “I wanna test out the new technique, right?”

“BWHAHAHAHAHA!” the leader guffawed upon seeing the challenger, “FOOL! AS IF SOMEONE AS SMALL AS YOU COULD POSSIBL-”

“Naga Naga no BLAST!” Knave yelled, a wave of heat and kinetic energy slamming the bandit leader in the face. Letting out a cry, the leader stumbled back, holding his burned face in his hands.

As he recovered, Knave ran for one of the nearby trees, pushing his body to maximum speed. As his leading foot came into contact with the trunk, the marimo lad put on a massive burst of even more speed, and began running up the tree itself!

As he reached the branches, he quickly surrounded his feet with heat and kinetic energy, then leaped into the air right above the leader, who had just finished rubbing his face. “Naga Naga no....” Knave began, as he pushed off from the tree, right above the leader’s head, swinging his legs in front of him..

“Eh?” the leader asked, finally removing his hands as Knave’s heat energy-covered feet crashed into his face. Knave continued to curve and spin, thus, sending the leader’s face smashing into the ground, even more heavy burns on his face, as Knave landed down right in front of his feet.

“Whew,” Knave sighed, wiping his brow, “that could have gone wrong REALLY badly.” He turned to face his compatriots.

“Well,” he asked, “should we deliver this thing?”

~End of Log~

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