Talk:Jay Crackerian/@comment-5008281-20140203110048/@comment-4080028-20140203211755

Firstly, I'd like to argue that perhaps hooking machinery into one's bone structure may not be as far fetched for One Piece as you might think. I'm somehow reminded of Sanji using Diable Jambe and not being burnt by it at all; and when a reader asked Oda how this was so, Oda made up a response, stating it was because Diable Jambe is fueled by Sanji's hot-bloodedness. What does this have to do with a lightning-bone machine? That something that should naturally harm someone, like intense heat or electric voltage can have potential to be explained away as far as One Piece is concerned, so long as the explanation makes sense in some way.

On one hand, I too have a cyborg with metal implants connected to her bones. But these implants are only meant to reinforce her skeletal system to make it tougher, and in no way endanger her by emitting electric discharge. On the other hand however, it is going to be hard to properly explain how Jay's device works without harming him in the process, so I have to agree with you that PirateKingJay needs to put more thought into this idea.

Final thoughts on the matter? Well, I guess you can say I'm willing to let this slide to some degree, but in the end, I still can't help but agree with Rinji when it comes to being more thoughtful.

Now, secondly; PirateKingJay, I'd also like to point out it makes no sense why this machine would be called Shǎndiàn liànjīn shù. As you may or may not know, the Shandians are a race of people in the One Piece world. As such, why would Jay name his device that clearly has Shandian in its name if he hasn't come across a Shandian already? I can understand there can be coincidences, and if that's the case, I won't make a fuss about this anymore, but still; that's like making a high pressure water pump and having its name include "fishman" in it. It just feels odd in my opinion.

I guess where I'm coming from is this: I'm looking at this from the character, Jay's perspective. How would he know what Shandian means? Why would he name his machine Shǎndiàn liànjīn shù? It just comes off as being totally out of nowhere. And when it comes to working on characters, you need to write as if you are them. Jay is his own person, separate from you. So you have to put aside everything you know about One Piece after you've set up what Jay does and doesn't know. In this case, he's clearly from the Blue Sea, and so unless he's met a Shandian who's sailing the Blue Sea for one reason or another, or he's traveled up to the White White Sea and met sky islanders, it just doesn't make sense why he'd purposefully include "Shandian" in the name.

I'm hoping you add more detail surrounding why the device doesn't hurt Jay and why he's included "Shandian" in its name in the near future. Doesn't have to be right away, as I don't want to rush you, but unless you explain these mysteries, you'll be running the risk of having a character that just doesn't make any sense to its readers.

My apologies for the length of this comment. I got caught up in the details.