User blog comment:Awesome!/Ships of Fools Chapter 19:Subarashii story./@comment-1949750-20110317235206/@comment-1949750-20110318001807

Can't judge it if you're not finished. However, I will say that you need more detail on what they are doing or what the scenes look like at the moment.

For example, Didier:Phew so this is new world.It look pretty much the same to me.

What are they seeing?

(Emmanuel walks to Subarashii) Emmanuel:Your wounds.Are u seriously injured? Gosh.You and Fissure really overdid it.They could chase us all the way here.

How badly injured was Subarashii. Lots of blood, cuts, or bruises? Is he tired and out of breath?

Also, you need more spacing between lines. It makes it hard to read. And be sure to check your spelling and grammar after you finish writing. You're doing well so far