The Augustus incident

Sabaody Archipelago., near to the amusement park. Absolutely nothing out of the ordinary is happening, and John Jango de Triesieme is also walking up and down, with his nodachi balanced on one shoulder, bored out of his wits. He decides to head to the amusement park, but as he turns round and starts walking a voice yells.

???: Make Way!! Tenryūbito approaching!

The crowd reacts immediately and bows, but Jango apparently does not notice.

'''Assorted mutterings in crowd: '''

'''

'''

“Quick, everyone bow!”

“Stop it all of you, That’s Saint Augustus!”

 “But isn’t he that really cruel- “ *THUD* “Quiet!”

Jango keeps walking. Saint Augustus is coming the other way, at the head of an entourage of six guards and a slave girl who is crawling behind him.

 “Hey wait.. Doesn’t that guy know to bow?!”

 “Get down! You’ll get us all killed!”

Jango keeps on walking, apparently completely oblivious, and runs straight into the Tenryūbito. Then he recoils backwards, hopping on one foot with the other outstretched in front of him.

Jango: Ow!Ow! Owowowow! Watch where you’re going you- (The crowd gasps, and Jango stops, staring at Saint Augustus) Why… By the look of this.. You’re a Tenryūbito! Hello, Tenryūbito!

More gasps from the crowd. Some of the people near the back try to shuffle backwards without getting up.

Jango: Oh. My apologies. How rude of me (his voice has a slightly sarcastic tone to it at this. He then talks normally). I meant hello, Your Nobleness. (He waves to the crowd) Get up, all of you. It’s polite and all, but there’s really no need...

Some of the citizens actually start to stand up, and others try to pull them down. The slave girl looks up curiously, but is unable to stand completely due to her shackles having extremely short chains. Saint Augustus himself looks utterly shocked, but is twitching slightly.

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">Jango: Actually, now I think about it, I have a question. You seem to have a girl crawling around on a lead. Why?

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">Augustus: (Stares for ages, evidently Livid) D- Die!

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">He pulls out a gun and fires. The bullet goes straight into John Jango with minimal resistance, and disappears with no trace. After a while a wisp of blue-white vapour curls away from where the wound should have been. There is a long pause.

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">Jango: Oh, sorry! I missed my cue didn’t I? (He drops to his knees, gasping and clutching his chest) Argh, ugh, oh... I am slain!

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">He collapses face down in the road. One of the guards fingers his rifle. Saint Augustus leans forwards slightly and peers at the body

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">'''Crowd muttering: '''

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">'''

'''

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">“...Never had a chance..”

<p style="text-indent: 36pt; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt 36pt">“..Hope that’s all, I don’t want to die...”

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">“I don’t get it, he didn’t look hurt” “Oh trust me he’s-

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">Jango: SURPRISE!!!

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">He leaps upwards suddenly, Making Augustus jump back and scream. He lands perfectly on his feet after flipping several times in midair, pulls off his hat and bows at the surrounding crowd, who are now mostly standing. He reaches out and grabs his sword as it falls, without thinking about it at all.

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">Jango: Thank you, Thank you. You’re too kind (Turns to Augustus, who is back to shocked, angry, and twitching again) unlike this guy. Why, by the way? I only asked a question, so why the gun? And why a girl on a lead, incidentally, that was the question I asked then so I’ll – anyway, Why?

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">Augustus: How dare you?! Die!!

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">He fires repeatedly, until the gun clicks empty, all shots vanish in the same way as the first

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">Jango: That’s just plain rude. In fact, if I didn’t know better, I’d say you wanted to kill me. And I only asked a question. (He looks at the slave girl who is now staring at him)

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">Since you don’t seem to be talking, I’ll ask her instead. (He gets down on one knee in front of the girl) Do you know why he’s forced you to crawl around like this?

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">The slave girl stares at him for a long while, looking scared, but eventually talks quietly.

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">Girl: Dark Angel.

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">Jango stops suddenly and stares at the girl. He is clearly surprised, and seems to be muttering under his breath.

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">Jango: Yes, how-

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">Saint Augustus abruptly spins and backhands the girl roughly, knocking her away. He then kicks Jango, although this has again no effect at all, and Jango continues to stare into space.

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">Augustus: I never said you could talk! Stupid girl! And you, Commoner! How dare you ignore me and try to talk to my slave without my agreement?!

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">Jango stands up very slowly, and reaches for his sword. He appears very calm, but is clearly angry.

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">Jango: I didn’t intend to get into trouble today. But sadly it looks like I have no choice now. (He draws his sword slightly, revealing a red symbol on the black blade.) I have earned some favour with this blade, but not enough to guarantee the safety of all of you (He draws the sword fully and flourishes it) All those who plan on surviving, Run Now!

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">All of the guards point their rifles, and some of the citizens run.

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">'''Voices in crowd: '''

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">“He wouldn’t?! Surely?!”

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">                                                                                                        “The guy’s insane!”

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">

<p style="text-indent: 36pt; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt 72pt">“Wait a minute, look at his sword! The blade is black! It’s a black blade!”

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">“What?! But that means..”

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">                                            “It’s him isn’t it? I thought he’d be different.”

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">“Yes. This man must be him. He can only be... Dracule Mihawk!”

<p style="text-indent: 36pt; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt 72pt">                                            “Wait, What?!”

<p style="text-indent: 36pt; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt 72pt">“Run!”

<p style="text-indent: 36pt; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt 72pt">                             “The world’s strongest swordsman is about to go mad!”

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">All of the bystanders run away. The slave girl crawls away as far as she can, but is pulled back by the chain. Augustus sees this, and pulls on it aggressively, pulling the girl back to him.

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">Augustus: I never said you could move! You.. commoner! I’ll kill you! (he turns to one of the guards) Give me that rifle!

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">Guard 1: Sire, we should leave now. It is apparent this man has some kind of Devil fru-

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">Augustus: I don’t care! Nobody would dare spill my divine blood! Now give-

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">Jango: Come out, Dai Oni!

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">The sword blade turns to black smoke which floods out of the handle, and becomes the upper body of a large demonic creature.

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">Guard 2: Wha-What kind of sword is that?!

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">Guard 3: Oni....

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">Guard 4: quick, shoot it!

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">Jango: Don’t hurt the girl. And make sure you don’t touch those shackles either. The rest of them I leave entirely up to you, Kiri-Nodachi. Enjoy.

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">The black smoke fills the entire area and obscures everything. Shots are heard.

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">Guard 1: Sire, Run! Quickly, before-    *Shnick*

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt"> THUD.

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">Silence falls. The smoke is sucked back into the sword blade, which returns to normal. All of the guards have vanished, leaving behind a broken rifle and a helmet. Saint Augustus, with his resin bubble hood now broken, is left standing alone with his slave girl still on the end of the chain. He looks shocked and his face is blackened.

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">Jango: So it falls to me. The sword eliminates the guards, and leaves me to pass judgement.

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">Augustus: I’m filthy?! And this air stinks of inferiority! A mask, I need a mask!

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">Jango: (points the sword straight at Augustus) I’ll ask again. A girl crawling around on a lead. Why?

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">Augustus: I don’t answer to commoners. Go away before I call the admirals.

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">Jango: Commoner? When you shot at me I didn't die. Oh, And... I'm carrying a devil around over one shoulder. Is that common?

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">Augustus: (A pause, then speaks slowly) No. I suppose it isn’t. There’s probably some tiny godforsaken hole somewhere where you’re almost as important as me.

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">Jango: It’s not tiny or godforsaken, and it’s the exact opposite of a hole, but yes, correct. Please answer.

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">Augustus: You want to know why I make her crawl? Because it reminds her of her inferiority! That’s why! This way she will remember that her entire fate is always in my hands, and that it is the right of the important and superior to do whatever they want with those of impure blood! You understand don’t you? You must feel the same way in your tower?

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">A long pause in which John simply stares at Saint Augustus. Then he begins to walk forwards.

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">Jango: No. And it’s not a tower either.

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">Augustus: Y-you wouldn’t kill me, surely! (Jango flicks the sword, and the guard’s helmet is cut in half with no resistance) You wouldn’t..

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">Jango: You just don't get it! I'd pity you, except I hate your kind too much for that. You nobles, always taking rights that aren't yours, giving nothing back in return.. If it wasn't for the threat of the marines you'd all be extinct by now. Fortunately, since marines can't threaten me, I'm in a perfect position to start us off..

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">Augustus: No, wait! Its about the girl isn’t it? You want her, don’t you? You can have her! Just let me go! Here!

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">He throws the end of the slave girl’s chain at John, and he reaches out and catches it without thinking again. Jango stops advancing quite close to the noble. Augustus is clearly terrified, but slowly begins to smile.

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">Augustus: Take her. She looks good with you! And wherever you come from can’t possibly have slave girls as fine as her. You appreciate quality don’t you? Even with your impure blood you-

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">Jango: Impure? (He talks quietly, but sounds furious)

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">Saint Augustus stares at him Jango flicks the sword again And impales him. There is no blood whatsoever. Saint Augustus’ face goes from shocked to angry.

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">Augustus: What... Manner..... Of. Devil.... are you..

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">He collapses as Jang withdraws his sword and sheaths it. There is still no blood.

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">Jango: Why must my people always be seen that way?... Even when we try to fit in, we are outcasts. (He turns to the slave girl)

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">Now, I’m not entirely sure how you noticed that, but hold on a second. I think the collar is probably explosive, but if I- Timeslip!

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">He flickers, and then the slave’s shackles and collar land on the other side of the road and blow up.

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">Jango: Done. (He helps the slave girl to her feet) It’s up to you what happens now, but I think we’d better leave before someone decides to Buster Call the whole Archipelago... Heck, they actually might. Didn’t think of that. Anyway, priorities!

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">He turns to the girl and offers her a hand

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">Jango: Pleased to meet you. I’m John Jango de Triesieme. What’s your name?

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">Slave girl: ... Jane Rose.