Talk:The Verão Archipelago Conflict/@comment-4080028-20160511043008

As a certain angelic character I know of once said, "sorry to keep you waiting!" In all seriousness though, this seems like a decent start to your story, Asa. Given who Kris is (without spoiling too much for anyone who happens to be reading this comment without checking the chapter first,) I'm surprised to see you started with him first; not a choice I see most people do in terms of story telling, so I commend you on that.

While I enjoyed having a brief chapter to go through, I also felt it could've used much more detail and writing so that I could get fully immersed into the start of your plot and really feel what's going on. With something as short as this, it's over just as soon as it began and it feels like I'm missing quite a bit somehow. But anywho, aside from that bit of nitpicking, only other thing I can say in that regard is what Rfl has brought up as well, that being the use of punctuation. There were some spelling mistakes here and there too, so be on the lookout for those when you come back to this chapter. Any little bit of grammar and spelling correction goes a long way.

All in all, a nice, brief chapter with an unorthodox start to it. Good cliffhanger too, since it's nice to leave a chapter on something surprising and mysterious like that. No doubt I'll be continuing through the story as I've promised.