Talk:Showdown at the Base! Shiro D. White vs Drag!/@comment-27169256-20140921154416

WHAT TIME IS IT!?

Me: Uh...Lunch Time?

CJ: NO YOU FOOL! IT"S ~



The INFAMOUS CJ REVIEW!

Alright, so we're finally kicking off the battle between White and Wanamo against the Steampunk Pirates! So, aside from the in depth descriptions that I was hoping for (or used to in my case) the battle seemed pretty sweet. White and Wanamo pretty much kicked the living crap out of the grunts and got their real challenge in the form of the most terrifying creature to set foot in the One Piece LAND!.......an Okama.

And as a closure, the big bad himself shows up to wreck shit up. Good Cliff Hanger, get used to adding those.

White pretty much seems to inherit alot of Luffy's traits in battle (such as being easily distracted, not taking things too seriously, and his fighting style in general which doesn't really follow a code or art of any sort just straight up brawling). Not that these are necessarily a bad thing, but I was hoping we could dive into the mindset of another character that could use another important aspect of battle such as tactical wit so outsmart his opponents. Regardless, it was still a good read and we got to see White in action along with Wanamo (who suprised me by the way with his unseeable punches). Very nice.

charges ~ Present Tense Again. Please proof read your story two to three times so you don't miss these.

So Drag's power are...firing Lazers? From his helmet? Aside from being totally awesome... exactly how are they even possible? Is he a cyborg like Franky and are built into him or is it part of his devil fruit powers? If you're going to give you antagonists powers, you need to have them either explained before hand or somewhere during the battle by either the villain himself or the hero's deduce them.

Next up is White's Powers. He's a....Bounce man? So.. if I were to sum up his abilities, he can "bounce" things away from himself? Is that it? Because if it is it sounds awfully close to Kuma's Paw fruit that can "repel" things away from himself. This is where it pays to make a page on your abilities so people can clearly understand them. Though I'll admit, they way you described it here in battle seems pretty nifty and fun to read about. Unfortunately, I still don't know what some of his attacks mean since you only put the Japanese translations so the only way of finding out is going to Google Translate.

Side from those, I'd have to say I wasn't completely disappointed with the start of the battle, a little indifferent is more appropriate due to the lack of things I mentioned but of course, those come with experience as you write more.

Overall, I'd rate this chapter a 6.5 out of 10.

ONTO THE NEXT ONE