User blog comment:Fantasy Detective/Pokemon SOF! Chapter 3: Buggy Forest/@comment-24070327-20141001020511

Kishishi. Here is the review I promised. Cause House NEVER backs out of a promise! Which is why I don't make promises often...

...either way, things are starting to pick up now. Battles are changing from a rarity to common place which is a good thing in my book. Though still relatively simple in nature, the battles are starting to become a bit more complex. Such as Caring-chan taking advantage of Ekans' wrap to deliver a point-blank electric shock. Though truth be told, I'm looking forward to the point where our trio encounters a truly strategic trainer that'll force them into taking an approach that is different from the direct one they have been using so far.

I got to hand it to you though, you've done well to keep everyone relatively close to their characters in real life. If I didn't know any better, I would have though that this was a chat roleplay rather than a story written by a single person. Great job on that part FD. Keep up the good work there!

Truth be told, the cut off to the figures in the dark seemed kind of out of place here. I can see that you wanted to introduce the fact that there are serious antagonist about, but their introduction didn't really have any sort of impact on the chapter. I don't know, it just seemed to me that a scene like that should be saved until after a lesser antagonist has done something. That way the reader realizes that all of the mischief that lesser antagonist caused is just a small part in a large scheme. Here we just have some people in the dark. They haven't done anything on screen nor do they seem to be connected to anyone who has done something on screen. They're kinda just there.

Now the humor. I didn't want to use emotes in this review, but I feel that doing so is the only way to express the lols I had while reading this. The humor is flat-out hilarious. With my particular favorite moments being Caring-chan's crime spree of Caterpie murders and, of course, Chester. Next best things were the fact that Caring-chan seems to have no idea that her Caterpie is going to evolve into the Metapod she seems to despise, Zigzagoon doing as Zigzagoons do which is horribly failing at battle, and of course Zeon pulling a First Season Ash Ketchum on Wyvern. Though instead of stealing a bike from Wyvern, he instead brough Wyvern along for the retreat. XD Also, Because of my strange sense of humor, I had a laugh at Pidgey's use of the word comrade. Now I can't help but to think of him as a Soviet Russian. And giving him the stereotypical accent on my second read through pretty much just made my day. XD

Last thing I want to mention here is the way setting is being handled. While it's not exactly inefficient, it could use a bit more detail. Though mind you that lack of such doesn't detract from the story at all since it's obviously focused more on character interactions and the combat than the setting. Though an adventure story should have some setting considerations in my opinion.

Either way, I give this chapter an 8/10. Cool battles. Nigh-perfect characterization. Awesome humor. Excellent flow. And well-structured. But the figures in the dark scene kind of stuck out as odd. And the world building could use a bit more work. HOUSE OUT! Onwards to the next chapter...eventually.