Talk:Jay Crackerian/@comment-5008281-20140203110048

I would definitely rethink that whole "machine with lightning power" thing. I'm not really a doctor, but you really don't describe why he is able to hook it up to his bone structure and use it without harming himself in the process. That kind of voltage going through your skeletal system would cause extreme contractions, cardiac arrest, full-blown paralysis, and is just all around questionable in its stability. I know the Canon of One Piece has cyborgs and androids, but the fact that he was able to hook a machine into his bones is a lot more far fetched than Franky building himself into a cyborg. I'm not sure if this is against the rules, but honestly, I would rethink this whole machine bone structure and explain its workings better.

Also, a slight nitpick, I would also break your history up into paragraphs instead of one huge wall of text, it's very hard to read. Food for thought.