Talk:Lack of Chat Use/@comment-4080028-20170612085021

Main reason I haven't been using chat since roughly May, April, or even March, is because of some problems I've been facing in regards to socializing and communicating with others; a problem that I feel has been steadily building up for the past few years now and isn't getting any better. As much as I have come to cherish and love the community for Ship and Sea of Fools, and as much as I have built a strong friendship with numerous users on both wikis, I feel there's been a troubling shift in attitude and behavior between me and mostly everyone else; a shift that's left me feeling hurt, isolated, and in general, unwanted, or inversely, taken advantage of.

Knowing my track record when it comes to long posts, I'll avoid going into too much detail about this, because I can tell it may require some lengthy explanations to better understand my point of view.

Point is though, I've been purposefully distancing myself from a large majority of people here due to personal feelings. As much as I'd like to spend all day on the chat like I used to, I'm trying to keep good on my word to stay away from the community here whenever possible, or at least limit how much interaction I allow between myself and the other users. While on one hand, no longer having to put up with the stress I was going through a few months back is great and has left me feeling a bit recharged, I do sometimes still feel a bit lonesome with hardly anyone to socialize with anymore.

I'm not sure if anyone's been thinking of me, or even talking about me while I was gone, and I honestly wouldn't be surprised if no one hasn't. Not a slam against any of you, but rather, I'm just pessimistic that way. Given how my interactions with people have gone since I "abandoned ship" in a manner of speaking, I doubt anything will ever improve or change the way I'd like them to; making it hard to say if I'll ever come back to chat for good or not. "Only time will tell," as they say. Though judging from the poor welcoming I got on another One Piece fanon wiki I visited a while ago, which was far from inviting (and despite my many attempts to be friendly, polite, and to get involved with everyone else,) I suppose people just don't seem to like me anymore or something. Maybe I'm just not wanted or needed, or I'm some kind of outdated sort of person. Whatever the case may be, my interactions with other people has been far from pleasant lately, despite my many attempts to keep my head up and keep trying. These experiences have left me wondering about my standing here on Ship of Fools (and Sea of Fools,) and if I should ever come back, talk about my inner demons and personal problems, and simply try to get along with everyone again.

Eh, given my rambling, I suppose I'm still all messed up inside and confused about what I've been going through. Apologies for going on strange tangents here and there, everyone. Life's been... awkward, depressing, frustrating, difficult, lonely and all in all confusing for me lately. So, ya know, the same old thing I'm sure everyone else goes through on a daily basis.

tl;dr

I haven't been on chat because I'm a recluse now, and I have serious emotional problems that need sorting out.