Talk:An unmarked island and a deadly discovery! part 2/@comment-4080028-20130421002339

Very nice story, 13th! Well done, once again! The fight with the chimera was enjoyable, and the actions were well written. Also, considering this is the debut story of the user of one of my favorite Devil Fruits (if my memory serves,) this was indeed a fun and enjoyable story arc. :) Even despite the urgency, you were sharp enough to add in some comedic moments, much like Oda himself. Well done! I especially loved seeing our determinator, Dimitri, being whisked away involuntarily. Not only is it a good show of how important his injuries were, and how loyal his friends are, but it just made for a good laugh at the same time.

Hmm... What else can I say? I loved Dimitri shrugging off what he thought was him being wrong. Especially as it looked like something amazingly similiar to a move my own protagonist, Chris would do. And even then, the reveal at the end... It just adds some nice drama and makes future stories just as promising as this has been.

Lastly, you made perhaps only one mistake. "Jessica, Byrn and George all recoil at this, and Lvingstone overreacts spectacularly." Missed an I in Livingstone. Apologies if I miss any others you spot, as I swear I thought I saw more, but now I can't find them or recall where they were. But speaking of Livingstone, i'm becoming very fond of this quirky, odd character. I'm very happy to see him join the crew. And something else that came to me being, now that i'm growing more attached to these characters with each action or utterance, it also makes your villains more intolerable (at least for me.) So i'm rather happy Bergmont got what was coming to him in the Obsidians' past adventure, considering the slash he gave Dimitri. And about that, I find it to be an awesome move on your part to bring that fight up here. Feels like a real Oda-like move.

Hmm... I think that's it for this commentary. I feel like there's more on my mind, but considering the great deal of effort put into this story, that isn't too surprising. Plus, we'd be here for hours anyway. So with that said, I once again tip my proverbial hat to you, 13th! Awesome story as always.